They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jul 27, 2008

Maybe I Am Actually Losing My Mind...

Well I got back from SRP yesterday and I am happy to report that as far as the United States Army is concerned I am fully deployable and ready to go to beautiful sunny Afghanistan.

We found out some stuff, we found out where we are going to be while we are there, if you want to know just email me and I'll tell you but I am not going to put it on the internet due to security concerns.

We got our insurance filled out and I found out that I am worth quite a bit of cash if I get killed, which I guess is nice. Kinda funny how dying would be the highest paying job I ever had...alright that is kind of sick, but whatever.

I am also starting to figure out that this isn't going to be that horrible, soldiers always seem to make the best of any situation, regardless of how fucked up it is.

Funny thing is this, I am not worried about going there, I am not worried about being away from my family for all that time, I am not worried about anything really. You want to know what I am worried about? The fucking World Series.

As of right now the Chicago White Sox are leading their division and the Chicago Cubs are currently tied for 1st place in their division. So theoretically, this is the first year in a long, long time that there is actually a fairly decent chance that there is going to be a crosstown World Series. Needless to say, I am a White Sox fan. Cubs suck.

"What did Jesus say to the Cubs right before he left?, Don't do anything until I get back."

Now whether or not this actually happens, who knows, there is still a lot of baseball left but the chance is there. And I am going to be in fucking Afghanistan when the World Series is played. I could deal with the Cubs going to the World Series and not seeing it, I could deal with the White Sox going to the World Series and not seeing it. I COULD NOT DEAL WITH NOT SEEING A CROSSTOWN WORLD SERIES.

I'd go AWOL.

Alright, changing gears. Yesterday when we left the armory after this week of bullshit we got our pep speeches from the 1st Sergeant and the acting commander, some Lieutenant filling in for the "old man" while he was off doing officer things. Now these made me laugh.

First up was the 1st Sergeant and his speech about how we did so well at SRP and how he was getting comments from people saying how great we did at SRP and how professional we were and how they wished that every unit was like us. Now that is all well and good, but I would like to see those letters or hear the messages, or see the emails because all SRP really is, is a bunch of soldiers standing in line waiting to turn in some paperwork and answer a few questions and then move on to the next station. I don't really see any way that anyone could be any better or any worse at this than anybody else. But I digress.

Then we got the safety lecture. You know don't drink, don't screw, don't do this, don't do that...blah blah blah. "No problem, first sergeant, I got it"

Next up, we got a speech from the "acting commander" Now this one was laced with some of the stupidest shit I have ever heard come out of a person's mouth.

I would love to tell you every single word he said, but I didn't have a recorder or a pen and paper to write this shit down, but the basics of what he said broke down to this.

"We are not citizens of the world, we are American citizens, we need to train and get ready to kill everyone, and we are going to kill everyone, and we are all going to come back alive, and accomplish all our missions, and we are the best MP company in the Army"

I don't have any problems with anything he said, I believe (to one degree or another) everything that he said, except for one thing. The best MP company thing. That is one bold statement. I have no idea how may MP companies are in the Army but I know there are a lot. I have been in a bunch of them, I have been in ones better than this one, and I have been in ones that are worse than this one. But that seems to be a common theme amongst the people who are in control of this unit. Their absolute, almost pathological certainty of their own superiority. I wonder how much they have to compare it against?

Just curious...

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