Hey La Di Da Dee...We Got Attacked Again

Ah ladies and gentlemen the reindeer games are in full swing here at the feaux FOB here at beautiful Fort Bragg. Apparently, and this one really made me laugh. We got attacked last night and only about a quarter of the soldiers here on the FOB responded because for the most part soldiers are a lazy and uninspired lot and they will do anything they can to avoid work of any kind. Myself included.

But how the hell do they expect us to know. We spent the last few weeks listening to nothing but fake grenades, artillery simulators, blank rounds and a whole mess of other shit going off all day and all night. About the only thing we haven't had is tanks rolling through here, other than that it is pretty much non stop. I go to sleep every night to a symphony of booms, bangs, and rat-a-tat-tats. So after all of that why would I care if there were a few more going off around here.

So we had to go and get into a formation so we could be told that we had not done very well on this little test and therefor the SOP would be changing on how we do things here at the FOB. OK, but if you have ever seen the snail's pace that military commanders can move at we will probably see our SOP changed sometime after we get back from Afghanistan.

But that is not such a big deal, anyone who knows the military knows that the only constant is change. That and whenever you start to wonder what is going to happen next the easiest way to figure it out is to find whatever event will suck the most. And that is exactly what is going to happen.

Now the big deal is guard duty. I love this stuff. Its one of those things that they throw you on when they really don't have anything else for you to do. I mean I get the fact that we have to guard the vehicles but that is because all these other shit bag units around here will cannibalize and steal all of our parts. But now they want a guard on the company TOC (tactical operations center). I could see why they would want a guard on that if it weren't already behind a tollbooth. I mean really, there is the front gate of the FOB and then there is this little thing that looks like a tollbooth that controls entry to the area of the FOB that has the TOC in it. So what's with the extra guard. But that...(had to stop writing because we got fake attacked again)

How much fun can you have in one day. 200 soldiers all running around like chickens with their heads cut off, firing off blank ammunition like we will never run out of it, NCO's yelling at each other trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. About 10 guys who all think they are Delta force or some shit running out into the woods to chase down the bad guys and getting lit up by a crew served machine gun as soon as they left the wire. The rest of us all laughing at them because they decided to run directly in front of all of us making us completely useless because you can't fire when some dip shit is in front of you. Now I am sitting here wondering what the letter would read like to their parents after that shit.

Dear Patriotic Parents,

The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your children are dead because they were stupid. Life insurance collection forms are enclosed.

Sincerely,

Douche Bag in charge.


Admittedly, that was a bit brutal. However, it doesn't change the fact that some of these young guys have to realize that this is not a video game. People have died, are dying, and will die. Not to mention the ones who will be maimed and wounded and completely mind fucked by this whole thing. There is a very, very, ridiculously thin line between heroism and stupidity. What I saw tonight was nothing more than stupidity.

I have no interest in dying. I have no interest in getting wounded. I don't give a damn about getting the bad guys. I have one prevailing thought in my head. Accomplish the mission, stay alive. That is all there is and that is all I will do. I wish to God that these young ones get that through their head sometime real soon. I mean I saw guys climbing over concertina wire. One slip and they would have been wrapped in this shit and cutting themselves up like grated cheese. But hey they got the testosterone and their all going to slay the huns and save the world.

I don't know about you but I wonder about these young guys. They got it all ahead of them. I swear to you some of them haven't even gotten their dicks wet yet, and they are going to pull some shit like this. Not that it really matters. I wholly expect that they knew in the back of their minds that this was just training and that nothing real was going to happen to them and that might be why they conducted themselves the way they did.

But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be around when some 19 year old kid gets boxed up...