They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...


These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Sep 26, 2008

Holy Mary, Mother Of God, Three Days and No Bosses...

This is really starting to trip me out. We have gone 3 whole days now with not an NCO in sight. I don't really know whether to rejoice or think to myself, "they have been watching us the whole time and we are going to burn for all the shit we pulled while they were gone." But whatever, I mean you leave 40 soldiers between the ages of 18 and 30 with a combined IQ of about 70 and there is going to be some goofy shit going on. If I were them I would be thankful that we didn't burn down the barracks.

So all was well and good today until about 1430 hrs. (2:30 you civilian pukes), when I was sitting around watching "Heat" with my platoon. It was a training aid on "fire and maneuver" or at least that is the story we are going to run with. Then some guy from second platoon comes up to our bay and tells me that the 1SG wants to see me.

Wonderful, I couldn't think of a better way to spend the remainder of my afternoon than getting my ass chewed off by one mean ass 1SG. Then I start racking my brain trying to figure out what the hell I did. I am going over and over the last week or two in my head trying to think of what I could've done that would piss him off. The worst part of it all is that I couldn't think of anything. I know with me that may be hard to believe but I really haven't done anything worth a good ass chewing in over two weeks.

After figuring that out, I started to wonder if I am slipping in my old age. I mean a few years ago, if I had to go over any two week period of my life I would've been able to rattle off at least 3 things that are illegal in at least 50% of the states in the union. Just kidding.

But anyways, I go walking to where the 1SG is, all the while sweating bullets thinking that I am about to get busted for some stupid shit that I don't even remember doing, and when I get there...

He gives me the phone number to my job. And tells me, "your human resources administrator called and needs you to call her at this number." Then he turns around and goes back to whatever the hell 1SG's do.

How anti-climactic. But OK, now what the hell is wrong at work. I'm thinking, I am the only moron in history who can actually get fired after having been gone for over three weeks. Yep, I am that guy.

But then I call and she tells me I got to sign some paperwork for life insurance and some such shit. Now that was a whole lot of build up for nothing. I mean I really am a big fan of a good ass chewing. Not to mention there is nothing quite as exhilarating as getting yelled at by a 1SG that knows what he is doing. I mean when I was on active duty I would needle the man just to get him to start yelling. It was sport at the time. Now I worry about it... Hey Zeus Crisco, am I ever getting old.

But that was the only excitement generated today, but its still only like 1700 so we got some time to stir up a little shit. About the only real news that I have is that I have a new address, oh boy, oh boy. And this one is just for the mom, I got my head shaved. Right down to the bone there Mama. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures of it and send it to you. I'm sure you'll love it.

Hopefully, something actually starts happening soon, this is getting mighty boring, and when I get bored bad things start to happen. But then again, I'll probably have to take some viagra or metamucil or some shit to actually get something going. Ha-ha.

Later...

Love you mom.

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