They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Mar 6, 2009


Wow, that is about all I can say about what is happening right now. There are no words that could accurately describe the level of idiocy that this company has sunk to. But I am going to give it a shot.

Now since there are only those I choose reading this, I can pretty much say whatever the hell I want and I will.

So there is this thing coming down here today. It’s called an RCP. Route Clearing Package. Basically it is a whole bunch of really big trucks, with some nifty little toys that find IED’s and what not, followed by a convoy of civilian trucks that are carrying all the supplies for all the different FOB’s that they will stop at during their trek across this great land.

We have been tasked with tower guard for the past couple of days and the next week or two. With tower guard comes the QRF, which is like the guys that run out to deal with any of the little problems that seem to arise around here all the damn time. Like a stuck vehicle, or a blown up vehicle, or some guy digging in the road. You know, all that shit.

Well the commander, in his infinite wisdom has made a decision that I have to take issue with. You see the RCP is being run by a new unit. So they don’t really have a good handle on what they are doing and as a consequence, they take longer than usual.

So the RCP is still pretty far away from us, but they still sent the other platoon out to meet them about 25 kilometers from our house. That was this morning at 0500. They still have not met up with the RCP and right now it is 1650. Needless to say this is going to be an all nighter. So the entirety of the other platoon is out doing this RCP thing. They were supposed to drive up there and meet them, and then show them the way back here. Simple enough mission, and something that actually makes sense. They took something like 12 trucks, and like 35 people up there. Which is more than enough. The route is pretty easy, and even though our intelligence reports say that this is the most dangerous route that we travel, it has never been a problem for any of us. Which always makes me laugh. The fact is that military intelligence is a joke of epic proportions. When we first got here they wouldn’t shut up about how the route that the other platoon is on is so dangerous, and we are going to get hit all the time, and blah, blah blah. Well the funny part is that the exact opposite has happened. We only get hit when we go the exact opposite direction. Not a damn thing has ever happened on this route that is apparently so dangerous.

Well someone once said that in any military intelligence report, 15% of what you are reading will be true. The trick is figuring out which 15%.

So now let’s take stock. The RCP has all their huge trucks, and guns and guys. Our other platoon has all their trucks, and guns and guys. So there is probably about 100 trucks all in a big group up there somewhere. Now because the new RCP is moving so damn slow, they are not going to be able to get here before dark. And the RCP does not move after dark. So they are going to do what they are trained to do, they are going to circle the wagons, set up some security, and get some sleep and they’ll make it the rest of the way here tomorrow.

What does our commander want to do? He wants to send the QRF up there to help with security. Okay, I guess I can see that you want to help the guys. However, there are other considerations that I think he may be neglecting. Half our fucking shooters are out there with the RCP, or at least waiting for them. The other half are here working the towers. So now of the half you have back here, you are going to send a third of them out to help secure a convoy of 100 or so trucks. He is going to send 15 guys, and 5 trucks to help these guys out! If I were them I would laugh at us, we are just going to be in the way.

Be advised, I kind of got interrupted. We got called out to go up north to help out with an Afghan Border Patrol soldier that got tore up by an IED. He’s dead. So it goes.

So because of that we couldn’t do what the commander wanted us to do. So I guess we got off the hook on that one. Too bad someone had to die.

And with that I do believe that the desensitization process is now complete. Maybe I’m wrong, hopefully I’m wrong. I really do hope that in the future someone dying is not going to be paramount to them not having chocolate cake with dinner for me. That would be wholly depressing.

Anyway, so now here we sit waiting for the RCP to get here. They should be here in an hour or so. So long as they don’t hit another IED or two, so long as Mr. Taliban man stays at home, and so long as the P.O.S. Military vehicles they drive keep running. Well then, they’ll probably be here next Tuesday.

Well there isn’t much else to tell you until the RCP gets back and we get the avalanche of war stories from 3rd platoon and the RCP guys. So with that I’ll leave you in the care and favor of the Lord.


I love you mom...


  1. Interesting story MP. I am learning a lot about what goes on there from what you write. It sounds VERY frustrating! As Gomer Pyle used to say, "Surprise, surprise!" Seems a little crazy to send even more guys out of the fort. Isn't that when the bad guys come and attack the undermanned FOB?? Or does that just not happen?

    I think I need to get a map so I can figure out which way is up there. I am more familiar with the areas in Iraq (from following guys who were there) I know very little of the Afghan countryside. Also, I was wondering what you think about the 5th Stryker Brigade heading over there this summer?? Do you think Strykers will work in Afghanistan, on the non-existant roads and the mountainous terrain?? Do you use those things called Blue Force Trackers?? Are they just in Strykers or do other vehicles use them too? Just wonderin' Take care MP. It is hard to hear that intelligence seems to be in such short supply over there, especially as we keep hearing about how they are "ramping up" the "war" in AssCrackistan.

  2. Mud Puppy,

    Hey! Let's go easy on those MI guys. I was one a long time ago. At least 25% of our information was correct! It should have imporved by now. Of course, we are talking the Army.

    Be safe,
    God Bless,


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