They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...


These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jan 18, 2010

Got A Blast From The Past Recently...

So one of my buddies from way back sent me these. We recently got back in touch via Facebook. I used to think Facebook was evil but in this case it worked out famously...

Now he's been reading all the useless drivel that I've written over the past year or so and commenting, then he sent me some military terms. Remember those, remember me giving you all those military terms and my definitions...

He gave me a few more and I thought I would share them with you.

Steves- what we called Afghans after a direct order not to call them "hajjis"

The recoil of your rifle- what you feel after you shoot a Steve.

Oompa-Loompas- are the little brownish/orange people that make the FOB (a.k.a. chocolate factory) run. take out the trash. wash the chow hall, unload conex's, carry rocks from one side of the supply yard to the other and back again... etc.

Staff Infection- Thursday meetings with the commander

Man-Love Thursday- the day before the sabbath when all the dudes walk around holding hands, then go fuck each other because in that bass ackwards culture men are for pleasure and women are for babies... and ritualistic mutilation.

Condoms- when they are thrown from the turret of the HMMWV... are treated like bubble gum... which is hilarious.

Sheep - Afghan for religiously tolerated vagina. *I did tell my gunner to shoot near, but not shoot, an individual participating in what westerners (who don't live in West Virginia or Montana) would consider inappropriate acts with a ruminant...*

CAS - close air support... which is always fucking busy somewhere else when you really... REALLY... need it.

Hajji Night Vision - a full moon

Google Maps- works better than blue force tracker

Bazaar-o's - Hajjis that hock cheap (usually stolen and very poor quality) items at the on-post market on Sundays.

Training manuals/videos - Pornography

KBR- Keeps Bringing Retards (kellogg brown and root)

The Big Four - as in "you got your big 4?" Goldbond... Listerine... Baby Wipes... and Socks.

Attached to SF - means you're bait... bring more ammo and smoke... put the extra components, including the dick flap, on your IBA...

PRT- Provides Resources to the Taliban. (PRT, formerly the provincial reconstruction team)

3 comments:

  1. Question? Do socks in the Army serve the same purpose as socks in the Navy when underway? Just askin'. :) (I have no boundries and my filters are broken)

    ReplyDelete
  2. *mental note.. do not travel to either of these US states whilst wearing wool*

    >an individual participating in what westerners (who don't live in West Virginia or Montana)<

    PS. love the blog!
    Pax

    ReplyDelete
  3. sisu...

    no.

    See:

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spiderman

    ReplyDelete