Whether or not my maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Alright Winston Churchill is now about my top rate, most favorite quote master of them all. But a close second is Chuck Palahniuk, author of Choke, Lullaby, Survivor, and Fight Club just to name a few.
He said the following...
"All God does is watch us, and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever get boring."
I like that idea. Why do I like it? Pretty simply put, I hate the idea of a boring life. However, after the last few years of my life I am beginning to wonder first of all what that means, and secondly is a non-boring life even a possibility in this society/culture we've created here in America today.
Just look at what we shoot for, or aspire to. Everyone wants to grow up, get a good education, find a good job, work at it for 30 or 40 years and comfortably retire after we've raised our 2.5 kids, gone through our series of dogs every decade or so.
Nowadays with the economy in the shitter and good, stable jobs not all that easy to come by you can see Americans in their boring way looking straight to their old Uncle Sam for help. Extend my unemployment, craft hugely expensive legislation to create a job for me, pass another health care reform so that I don't have to do anything for myself.
Its all so terribly boring.
Gone are the days when things were left to be discovered, to be conquered, to be done. Even our jobs are becoming the most mind numbing/boring things that could possibly be imagined. We've gone from an economy where things were manufactured or produced, to an economy based on service jobs. I would think (of course I don't know, because by the time I reached working age manufacturing was almost dead) that taking raw materials and then applying whatever process and turning them into something useful would be a pretty good way to spend a day. Making something.
Whereas now, there are more waiters than auto workers.
Life should have rights of passage. Mine have been simple, basic training, college, marriage, divorce, combat, and the stunning realization that unless I do something about it the rest of my life (with little deviation) will be the same day in and day out for the next 30 years. Pretty boring if you ask me.
And that boredom is a situation I shall have to remedy. But how?
I think about that quote from Mr. Palahniuk all the time. What if its not God that kills us when we get bored? What if its our spirit that dies when you take away the goals? Or the rites of passage? Or maybe God does just zap us when he tires of watching us.
I don't know. But I wonder if other soldiers/sailors/airmen/marines have the same issue with home as I do. Is this or is this not some of the most God awful boring shit you have ever had to deal with after spending your time over there?
I spoke a while back about how the volume had been turned down on life by the war. Well all I can wish for now is that I can find something...anything that could turn the volume back up.
Grip on reality slipping...
I love you Mom...