They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...


These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Oct 22, 2010

600 Words on Weddings...

So yesterday I went to a haunted house with my mom, my brother, my one cousin, my other cousin and his girlfriend.  Now after all that was said and done we jumped in my car and were headed home.
Now, my cousin was in the back seat with my mom and they started talking about my other cousin.  He’s in the Marines and right now is on some boat somewhere over somewhere.  I have no idea where, but that’s not the point.  The point of this diatribe is what the two of them were talking about and how women and men communicate differently and how far apart we are in our thought processes.
So the situation was this, my cousin is getting married next year sometime (the Marine) and his fiance is still here while he’s out doing whatever the hell Marines do on boats.  But they’re getting ready for the impending wedding.  
So the cousin in the back seat went with his fiance to the store to find a dress.  She offered to buy it for her and she accepted.  Now this other woman was there and she got into the mix about don’t buy this dress because then you have to wear it and if you return it you’ll only get store credit and blah blah blah.  And my cousin got pissed about her doing that because she had offered to buy the dress for my other cousin’s fiance.
At least that’s what I remember of the story.  About half way through this story my brother and I looked at one another and rolled our eyes.  Its never ceased to amaze me how women react to things.  So we all started talking about weddings.
This is when I got another lesson in what women hear as opposed to what I said.  My brother said, “Who cares, she saved you some money and you’re off the hook on buying that dress.”  I added to that, “Why do you want to get into the mix of planning and putting together a wedding anyway?  Just let them do what they want and show up on the appointed day and time.”  
They shot back with a myriad of things that all seemed to degrade into the clucking of two hens in the back.  There was something about wanting to help out, something about that woman should’ve kept her opinion to herself, something about how men don’t understand weddings, something about you’re just a dumb ass guy anyway.
Then I had the gall to say something about guy’s don’t really care about weddings anyway, all they really care about is that the woman is happy.  No guy really gives a shit about cakes or napkins or centerpieces or any of that shit.  
Now all they heard was the “I don’t give a shit” part.  They went crazy on me.  
Here’s the question.  Why is it so important to women about weddings that they damn near force the guy to do all this goofy stuff and pick out all the napkins and centerpieces and halls and churches and yada yada yada...
Especially when we ALL know that the woman cares very little (if at all) about the guy’s opinion.  So long as the guy wants what she wants, its okay.  If he wants something she doesn’t there’s a fight.
Everyone knows a wedding is HER day.  The guy is there mostly just for the open bar and the sex at the end.
Its not like I’m being evil.  I was just trying to explain to them that whatever she wants is fine with most guys.  Why is that so wrong?

7 comments:

  1. I agree on you with this one. I say elope and save the money for a wonderful honeymoon or a house! Weddings cause too much stress and then the bride barely remembers any of it. I eloped and my parent were relieved.

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  2. I agree with you 100%. Sometime we just need to sit back and smile and say yes dear. Good blog.

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  3. I always knew I wanted a marriage more than I wanted a wedding. But every chick is different and so is every dude. I have had friend's whose fiance's really did care about the napkins and shit. But a good fiance should just follow their bride's lead and do what they want. It is good practice for marriage.

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  4. See Hill, I think you're wrong on this one. Just following your bride's lead on a wedding as a practice for marriage is a recipe for becoming hen pecked.

    And I'm sure we've all seen that at one point or another and we can all agree its not pretty. For the most part no woman would want that unless she has some deep seated issues that she needs to confer with a professional about.

    The bride dragging the guy along for picking out all the wedding crap is not a good idea. I'd have to say that deep down all every bride wants to hear is, "Whatever you want hunny."

    Which most guys would be happy to say. So once they do, why can't women just leave us out of it and tell us the only two things about a wedding that a guy really cares about...WHEN AND WHERE.

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  5. Some women care about the guys opinion... it happens...
    sometimes. hahaa

    I visited...but I stole something.
    ...the Dr. Hunter S. Thompson quote. thanks.

    I used to live near the blastasted cold windy city. brrrrrrrr.
    Brrr!

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  6. Oh, how I wish both my daughters had eloped!!! My oldest daughter became engaged in August, and was married in December! Yep, I was told I needed to cough up $16K in 4 months...(my daughter and I are fine now, thanks for asking) SIL stayed out of wedding plans-completely!
    My youngest daughter had a 2.5 year engagement-too much time to plan! SIL was involved in all money decisions, since I only paid for half (I was still putting her thru school). By watching over the $$$, he set the tone for the marriage...he cared nothing about any details!
    I'm so relieved I only have 2 sons left to marry off...and my oldest has promised he'll have me meet him in Vegas!
    It's good to read your words once again!!!
    ~AM

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  7. I agree with you Mudpuppy.

    Silly brides get their eyes off the groom and on the stuff.

    Our wedding was small, and by the time of the ceremony, I was worn down by the silly decisions---why cares about the color of the napkins? And my parents were pissed it was not a big wedding, but I knew my limitations mentally.

    My husband wisely helped set the perimeters. And that set a good tone for the marriage, too.

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