They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Feb 10, 2011

Valentines Day, and The Unfortunate Loss of My Man Card...

So, first off.  I wanted to tell everyone not to worry about me.  The past few months (that I haven't written) have been probably the worst in my life.  But now they're over.  I made it out of the woods, cleared the darkness, and any other goofy metaphor you can come up with for getting through the shittiest time in your life.

That's not to say that I'm not still completely nuts, but at least now I've got a handle on it.

Anyways, let me tell ya about this girl...

I could ramble about how beautiful she is, I could babble about how she's smarter than me, I could tell you how every time I leave her I can't wait to see her again, I could yammer about how she just makes me want to do better, I could bore you with how I do stupid shit for her that I would never do for another girl (like take claritin religiously because I am allergic to her dog).  I could do all of that, but I'm not going to...(woops, too late.)

I'm just going to go over a few things that have happened since we started dating.

We were in a bar watching the NFC title game, Bears vs. Packers.  She finished her beer.  She didn't ask, she didn't make a gesture, she didn't really move at all...and I grabbed the empty bottle, took it across the bar (fighting a sea of Bears fans) threw the bottle away, then went to the bar and got her another.

Now to most of you that would just seem like a nice thing for a guy to do.  However, here's the rub in that situation.  IT WAS NOT A COMMERCIAL.  The fucking game was going on AT THE TIME.

Next thing, I was driving home from work at about 8:30 pm.  I was almost home, only about 2 blocks away.  She calls me up.  Tells me she went out with one of her girlfriends that night and her girlfriend had gotten drunk and was now basically mounting the guy next to her.

I said, "Good for her" To which she replied, "Yeah, for her!  Please come save me from being a third wheel."

Okay, where are you?  She rattles off some bar that's about a block from where I work, but is about 20 miles from where I am at the time.

I smiled to myself, said "Okay babe, I'm on my way.  Stay inside and keep warm and I'll call you when I'm nearby."

And I turned my happy ass around and drove right back where I had come from and picked her up and took her home.

Then just last Sunday we were at a SuperBowl party.  And I spent a good part of the game throwing her trash away, getting her beer, helping with her humongous coat, and doing other random shit.

Finally, Valentines Day is coming up and I wanted to get her something really nice.  So I spent the past week bothering every chick I knew.  Showing them pictures of necklaces and earrings and bracelets, and watches and all sorts of shit trying to figure out what to get.  Thankfully, I suckered one of them into going shopping with me and picked out, what I hope, is a good one.

Ah, what the hell, its shiny, she'll like it!

Then what made me really realize that I had it pretty bad for this one was something that happened while she wasn't even around.  I was talking to a couple of my boys while we were having lunch at the Tilted Kilt.  And they were making fun of me for the fact that while I was in a restaurant that actually hires all its waitresses under the title "model" so that they can mandate height, weight, and dimensions, I was talking to these incredibly hot women who were serving us beer about my girlfriend.

That's when one of them uttered the words that no man ever wants to hear.  "Dude, I'm pulling your man card for this shit!"

Then I thought to myself, "Well that sucks, but I got her so you know can have the fucking thing!"

So be it.


I love you Mom...


  1. She "makes me want to do better" is a dead give away that you are serious about this girl. There is a line in the movie, "Phenomenon" that I love. Rober Duvall explains why John Travolta's character was able to get the pretty girl saying, "He bought her chairs." You'd probably have to have seen the movie, but it is a great line - meaning that the guy supported and cared about the girl even when he didn't really understand or like the chairs that she made. Anyway, I'm glad you have found someone to make you care.

  2. Dude, you got your man card the hard way, you do not have to give it up when you fall in love, I have been married for 43 years and still babble about my valentine.

  3. Sending big happy smile your way.

    Who needs a Man-card when you've got love?


    You know..."helping with her humongous coat" is MAJOR. (and if you can keep her hair from electricuting her at the same time, she'll love you even more!!) hahaha. (
    I DONT miss Chicago in Feb..)

    Awww... so happy for you two. :D

  5. Thank God our Mudpuppy is back and he is smitten! Love it!

  6. So many do not know what battle "hardened" warriors go through-
    Thank your for your honesty--
    With your permission- I would like to post your take on my site-w/an h/t to you - of course...
    Have been reading your Mother's posts for some time now-and there is a link to her site on my roll..

  7. Whoops-was thinking about the post below this one-

    as to this one-it brought a smile that you have found someone to love and care for....

  8. Have at it CS, just for future reference, any and all excerpts of my BS that you want to repost somewhere else...go right ahead.

    Anybody that wants to help spread the word is alright with me!

  9. If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you have to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Have your ex CRAWLING back to you...?