They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jun 28, 2011

Funny Story...

So I was driving to work this morning.

As I pulled out of the driveway of my apartment building, I apparently startled a flock of birds.

At this point the entire flock of birds jumped up and flew right across the hood of my car.

Unfortunately, one of these birds misjudged his altitude.

He flew right in the open window of my car and smashed face first into the closed passenger window.

After the aforementioned avian/automobile collision, the bird laid lifeless on my passenger seat.

To which I exclaimed, "Oh fuck me, I've got a dead bird on my seat!"

At which point the bird started to move. He then jumped up to his little feet and began to look around.

First at me.

Then at the passenger window.

Then at me, then at the window, at me, at the get the idea.

I couldn't help but say to the little bird, "Ya alright?"

If I didn't know better I'd swear that the look he gave me said, "Yeah, I know I lost it there for a minute but I've got it back. Thanks."

Then he proceeded to do the tennis match look around from me to the window for a few more seconds.

Now here, I'm hearing this bird whispering in my head, "Can I get a little help here big guy? How about running that window down so I can get back to doing birdie things and you can get to that life sucking, soul killing job of yours!"

"Whoops, sorry bud. Here ya go. Let me get that for ya!"

I moved my finger from the wheel to the button for the passenger window and gave it a push. (Thank goodness for toll windows.)

A few more looks back and forth and the little birdie flew right out my passenger window.

And does it make me completely nuts that on the last look I swear I heard the little bird say, "Thanks pal, you be good now."?????


I love you Mom...


  1. You're still not sleeping much, are you? :-P

  2. Hummingbirds and a woodpecker got in the house last summer. Those were some weird conversationa...

  3. I like this story! A happy ending...that's what life is all about.
    Yep, we all hit a window and fall down from time to time...then it's time to fly off to the next window. Isn't there some sort of's not how many times you fall down, but how many times you stand back up?

  4. Hey man, I’ve been following you for some time. I’m of big believer of karma and redemption as I have been a beneficiary of both. This incident is clearly a message to you. Believe me I’m no tree loving, nature worshiping hippie type but, that wayward bird crashing headlong into your car was you metaphorically. Knocked cold, down for the count, rallying, taking the standing 8, getting your bearings and looking for just a little assistance to fly on. That was a seemingly random moment that was a sign from the power (s) to be that everything is going to be OK. If it were me, I’d be hoisting a toast that bird with every beverage from here on out. Drive on, Best of luck.

  5. Actually, the bird is all of us at one time or another.