They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jun 17, 2011

NFL Owners Don't Care About Red People...

Welcome. I am glad you got to read this. First off, if you are one of the five people who actually read this blog, then I will be a familiar ‘character’ in some of MudPuppy’s prior posts. I am known in digital print as ‘Spray Tan,’ a name I cannot stand. I was given this horrible moniker because of my ability to tan quickly and very dark. It is in my heritage. Well, Mr. MudPuppy (who has the complexion of a bowl full of mashed up egg shells) accused me of smuggling spray bronzer into Afghanistan to maintain my tone. I think he was chewing on too much of what the locals imbibed constantly. But I digress. He and I had a very special relationship (and no, not in that DADT way…). He would insult me, and I give it right back. Still happens almost daily. Even when he is at home trying to decide which socks are clean, dirty, and which ones should be deposited in the biohazard bin at the local hospital. We still get our daily jabs in one way or another.

I don’t like to talk about politics (M-P will classify me as a Glenn Beck loving conserve-a-tron, which is not true, I am HIGHLY moderate), religion or anything of the sort. I am a big sports guy. I enjoy talking about sports.

This damn NFL lockout is really irritating me. The issue at hand is that the owners and the players cannot make an agreement on a new contract. The Owners are making record profits and are not supplementing the income of the players like they should. But whatever. I don’t care if they pay Joe Quarterback 12 million a year to sit on the bench or 1 million. I could care less. I just want them to play.

Sundays during football season are my favorite days of the week. I enjoy watching the games, doing fantasy football, and chatting about the games at work on Monday. It makes me very happy. If I can’t get away from my shitty life for one day and have a beer and watch my favorite sport, I am going to be very whiny, and you don’t want to see me whiny. So, NFL owners and players, please get your crap together and salvage this season. Otherwise my girlfriend is going to be very upset with me, and I won’t sleep well on the couch…for 16 weeks.



  1. Nice rant, Dog Speed.
    funny that you also have a dog name like Mud Puppy - maybe why you are friends. I've watched enough football in my life, that I don't really care if they play or not. In fact, I think I will boycott them - just because.

  2. He may want to call himself "Dog Speed" or maybe that's just his cutesy little way of signing off. A take off of the military jargon "high speed".

    Either way he still sprays on his tan and smuggles tanning beds into combat zones...


  3. Actually, instead of GODSPEED, my dyslexic ass typed DOGSPEED once and it has stuck ever since