Its a simple truth. Motion is life. In life, when something stops moving its dead.
Think about it. When you're sleeping, your blood is flowing, your heart is pumping, your brain is firing, your lungs are breathing. And that's about as close to immobile as people get prior to taking their dirt nap.
Now we can debate the philosophical idea of movement equals life till we're blue in the face but that's not what I'm writing this for.
I'm writing this for myself and for all my fellow brother and sister veterans who have and are dealing with the same shit that I'm dealing with.
PTSD in my case has led to a few things that are a royal pain in the ass. Listlessness, idleness, a general fear of running into any triggers which leads me to hide out in my apartment. PTSD is the catalyst for depression, and depression leads to sleeping alot, or in my case not sleeping much. But it would seem that if you didn't sleep much you would have a lot of time to get things done. Given that you've got 8 extra hours a day! But that's not the case, what happens is you spend all your time sitting on the couch watching TV and eating chips and shit. Or maybe you play video games...however in my case the video games start to wear on you because most of them are combat games. Which I don't have much interest in. For obvious reasons.
Thin and thick of it is this, and I imagine that a lot of my fellow soldiers felt this way upon returning home, after the honeymoon wears off you run into a general malaise that if left alone can come to dominate your life.
In my case it did.
Now it came to dominate not only my mind, but my job, my social life, my family life, my education, my everything.
Well that's just not going to fly.
But something as simple as can be can change your outlook on things.
Nothing will get better until you start moving. Moving against this thing that is destroying you from the inside out. Moving against everything trying to hold you back. Moving against everyone who hasn't helped, or can't help. Moving. Period.
Get up, get out, do something, do anything. Stop voluntarily wasting your life. Take up the guitar, start writing, don't worry if anyone reads it, just write it. Clean your apartment, stay off the fucking internet, confine Facebook and all that shit to an hour or two a day. Which is probably too much. Buy a bike, motorcycle or pedals, join a club, join a league, get off your fucking ass and do something.
You'd be amazed at just how much better one can feel when they've spent the day moving as opposed to hiding from the world and staring at the walls.
Regardless of the problem, PTSD, TBI, crabs, unemployment, AIDS, cancer, homelessness, debt, war, or anything...Nothing gets done until someone starts moving!
I love you Mom...