They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jun 23, 2012

It Should Be Legal To Viciously Flagellate Children, and Adults...

So, as of late I've seen two things that just about made me want to cry and then they made me want to inflict some serious Van-Damage (Child o' the 90's right there)

First. THIS.

What can anyone say to this?

Here's my take...

These children's names should be splattered all over the airwaves and the internet to ensure that their lives are sufficiently ruined that not only do they never even dream of doing some shit like this again, but every other kid who might have some tendencies like this sees what happened to them and they don't ever think about doing it either.

That's my first reaction. No thought, no consideration, no logic, just pure visceral reaction.

Thankfully, I'm not the one in charge of all that. Because I suppose completely destroying those little bastards lives is not quite the punishment called for.

However, when I was a kid I remember this vividly. I was in my front yard playing with the little girl from across the street. I was maybe 6 or 7 and she was probably about 5 or 6. I took one of her toys from her and started playing with it. She started to cry. My mom stuck her head out the door and asked what was wrong, she told on me. My mom came out the house and smacked me upside the head, grabbed the toy out of my hand, and when I tried to hold on to it, she bashed me in the skull again, and took the toy away from me and gave it back to her.

Then she turned back to me, grabbed me by the shirt and started in on me.

Why did you take that from her? Is it yours? She's just a little girl. You don't ever take things from people. Especially from people who can't fight back. Don't ever be a bully. I ever catch you bullying anyone and I'll beat you to within an inch of your life. Now apologize to her!!!

I don't care what anyone says, a good sound beating, and/or a good verbal thrashing, is good for kids. There are some things that you don't really need to reason with people about. I got smashed, because I bullied someone, and I was told that if I ever did it again I would get beaten to within an inch of my life.

Good enough for me. I was 10. Did I deserve to be reasoned with or coddled? Hell fucking NO. I learned that day that bullying came with the price of getting bashed in the head, and could quite possibly carry a sentence of "beaten to within an inch of life" So psychologically I associated bullying with a lot of unnecessary pain. And I never did it again.

I won't even get into what my mom did to me when I was disrespectful to adults, because I'm not sure the statute of limitations has run out on that yet.

Someone obviously forgot to give these punks their bash to the skull.

However, there is a happy ending. These kids and their parents are now getting death threats on their cell phones and a website raised something like half a million bucks for this nice lady.

That's poetic justice if ever there were such a thing!

And secondly, there's this.

Just more proof that a lot more people should've had a mom like mine, bashing them in the head.

So much air and food wasted, keeping these people alive.

But, at least we gave the nice lady a few hundred grand. So at least we're feeding some of the right people.

Later, I love you Mom...and thanks for bashing me in the head from time to time.


  1. When I was a kid I took a doll away from a girl and she beat the shit out of me. I learned the hard way not to bully.

  2. Sounds like what my mom or dad would have done to me....they even allowed other kids parents in the neighborhood to kick my ass if I acted up. Kept me in line and made me love arresting bullies when I grew up.