They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jul 8, 2012

My First Movie Review...

Fuck you thunder, you can suck my dick. You can't get me thunder, because you're just God's farts!

That's just a small sampling of the many memorable lines from "TED" a movie about Mark Wahlberg and his magic teddy bear that comes to life and grows into a 35 year old adolescent and ruins his life and then saves it all in one movie.

First thing that's great about this movie. The trailer highlights a lot of the funny parts, but it ISN'T all of them.

Second thing that's great about this movie. Its about a talking magic teddy bear that has a dirtier mouth than I fucking do! What's not to love?  I mean there's something very special about seeing a magic teddy bear nailing a hot check out girl on the produce in the back of a grocery store.

The story is the usual. Nothing new under the sun there. But the way they portray Ted is a thing of beauty, not to mention he has Seth McFarland, of Family Guy fame doing his voice.

So you've got Mark Wahlberg. Ladies love Marky Mark.

You've got Mila Kunis, who makes me feel funny in the pants.

And you've got a foul mouthed teddy bear to round it off.

So, if you've never heard a girl from Boston have an orgasm, I HIGHLY recommend you see this flick.

5 fucking stars!


  1. I know a lot of guys like the teddy bear.... we had a female sgt from our replacements in Bosnia who brought her teddy bear, but I don't think it talked. She was very strange.

  2. Watched this today, HILARIoUS!!!