They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Nov 2, 2012

Stop The Madness, I Wanna Watch Hockey...

The NHL is locked out. Has been for a while now. Just for the record, I am a Chicago guy down to my bones. I earned my stripes and there's two baby blue ones on my heart. I love 3 teams. In order of precedence.

3. Chicago White Sox
2. Chicago Blackhawks
1. Chicago Bears

My beloved Blackhawks should be playing and they're not. I hate watching basketball. That's a sport to be played if you ask me, not watched.

It started September 15, 2012.

So, let's run down the issues that are causing this shit.

1. Revenue sharing. Owners want more, players want more. Or at least the players want to continue at their original level in the old deal.

2. Set a max term on player contracts of 5 years.

3. Eliminate signing bonuses and set uniform salary levels for each year of a contract.

4. Extend entry level contracts from 3 years to 5.

5. Extend qualification for unrestricted free agency from seven years in the league to ten.

Now, I don't really give a whole lot of credence to either side's argument in this. The players countered with some shit after asking the league for more financial information. And I don't know what has gone on in the closed door negotiations. But I do know a bit about human nature.

This is one group of rich guys, figthing with another group of rich guys, over the money generated by selling their product to the masses.

So I'm going to posit the same theory I had when the NFL was having its labor issues.

How about instead of players getting more money, or owners getting more money, how about you all take less money and lower the fucking ticket prices?

I can't even put my heart into writing this, because I know that an idea like that doesn't stand a chance. Here's an idea, leave the ticket prices the same, just give the kids free tickets with a paying adult. One per adult. Ya know? Work with us here.

I want to go to Hawks games this year, but it takes about a car payment to buy two tickets, a couple of beers, and a hot dog. God help me if I wanted a bobble head.

The NHL average ticket price last season was $57.10. So if dad wants to take mom and little Tommy and Tanya to the Hawks game, just the tickets are over $200 already. Now you gotta park, another $20-30, then you gotta buy pop, 4 of them, and cotton candy, and hot dogs, and blah blah blah. They haven't even sat down yet and they're out over $300.

I hate to say it, but I think the NHL lockout is a good metaphor for what's happening in this country today.

Two rich guy(s) fight it out over the prize (money). While the rest of us foot the bill to keep them in the lifestyle to which they've become accustomed.

And so, like the Bears before them, the only kind of protest I can come up with, I make myself perona non grata at all Blackhawks games. I still watch on TV, and I still want them to kick the ever living shit out of anything Red Wing or Blues. I won't stop being a fan. But I will stop giving them my money.

Unlike the government and their occursed taxes. I can keep my money away from Bettman and the NHL. When this lockout ends, they won't be getting a thing from me. So until the NHL takes a few steps to make their product more affordable and family friendly (Read: Cheap) I call for NHL fans to boycott the teams. Boycott the NHL. When they blackout the games, forget it. There's this wonderful place called the All State Arena where the Chicago Wolves play. And get this, at Wolves games the seats right on the fucking glass. Right up there, the best seats in the house, I mean you might get some blood on you seats...are $51.50

The best seats in the house are lower than the NHL average. Maybe they realize that the fans are the lifeblood of any sports league. When are we going to let the NHL, NFL, MLB, NBA and whoever else know that they work for us. We pay their bills.

They are going to work. They are going to play. Or they are going to suffer.

Or we keep on the way we're going and wait for the next lockout, so I can write this again.


  1. we used to play "M16 hockey" using pine cones.

  2. I wonder which end of the rifle was pointed up? Just sayin, muzzle discipline anyone?