They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jun 21, 2013

Call Your Mother...Sincerely, The NSA.

So the whole NSA spying on every Verizon customer in the US and recording where they call, where they call from and the duration of every call is actually getting a bit passe lately.

Just like I said it would.

And I've been watching a bit of news lately...mostly the Daily Show because it is about all the "news" that I can handle nowadays. Which has shown that what you think of this Snowden cat is pretty well determined by which side of the aisle you work for.

And I'm not talking about Democrats or Republicans in this case. I'm talking about government against the people type thing.

Pretty much every career politician calls Snowden and traitor, or a hero. A whistle blower or a...and I love this one...a grandiose narcissist, who deserves to be in prison.

All of this makes me laugh because the debate about who or what Snowden is, in my humble opinion is


Now that we've got that out of the way, maybe we can have an intelligent conversation about the NSA and by extrapolation the government and its collecting of ridiculous amounts of data on US citizens. Namely, you and I. Or at least I, given the fact that I am the proud owner of 2 iPhone 4's supplied by Verizon (99¢ with a 2-year contract) A contract which obviously contained some sort of NSA rider that I was unaware of.

First things first, we should sue Verizon for being such a bitch. I'm sorry, this is a capitalist country and I thought corporations ran this country, how is it that they can roll over like a whipped puppy when some spy agency half the country has never even heard of comes calling? C'mon Verizon, take your balls out of your purse and tell them to eat a dick.

If they threatened you with something, all you would've had to say is we'll be happy to comply after you get the signed consent of every person not listed on a warrant issued by a judge in a court of law. 

Or you could've said no, and we're just gonna shut off 111,000,000 cell phones , but right before we do we're going to send them all a text saying, "We'd rather shut off your phones than hand all your data over to the NSA, because that's what they want. Have a nice day!"

Now that, would've been epic.

And I'm going to venture a guess as to why. Its because Verizon and the NSA and the US government, and congress and the media (the big one) are all the same fucking thing folks!

They're all a different snake on the same Medusa head. Only difference is, we're already all stone. They don't need to turn us.

Apathy is the best word that can be used to describe an American public that would only have 58% of the voting public show up to elect the sitting president. That means over 4 out of 10 of you pukes reading this didn't vote in the last election.

5.8 of us decides what's best for all 10 of us.

And let's not get started on all the empty bullshit that politicians spout every two or 4 years, because the simple fact that any of you believe any of that shit is proof positive that we can't be bothered. 

Then you've got the Red White And Blue wackos out there...these are your flag waving, America is the best, we can do no wrong, just say "freedom" and I'll vote for you. Well succinctly put, we're not the best. Sorry to tell you kids, but there are only two things that we are the best at. Buying really cool military toys, and eating. I'm not even sure we're the best at the latter. But there are very few objective measures in the world that we are number one in.

Defense spending #1
Education #17
Life expectancy #51
Obesity #18
Education Expenditures #60
Debt #1

And on and on the list could go. Needless to say, we're not #1 in much. But we think we are. Take it away Mr. Daniels.

Did you notice that heartbroken and embarrassed look on that girls face after he got done fucking her up?

Its about how all of us should feel. Little. Like we just got punched in the stomach. Like we just had the rug ripped out from under us.

The point is not who or what Snowden is, the point is that the U.S. government is spying on you! On you. Not on me, or some other faceless random person, or terrorist or criminal or anyone else. They are spying on you. Remember that when you pick up the phone, when you send an email, when you comment on this blog, and when you send your next sext message...

But you know what? Most of us are going to finish this sentence, and forget the whole fucking thing...


  1. I think we have to give Snowden a fair trail, then remind him of the thingys he signed and oath he swore, then cut his nuts off....wait, he doesn't have any nuts.
    If he was going to be a "hero type" he should gone through proper methods. I don't like the idea of NSA asswipes listening to me talk, but it's happening and we need the courts etc to decide if it's cool.
    Another reason I don't use a cell phone much.

  2. Here's Contractor Snuffy's solution to his problems with the commander's tactics: He'll steal all the radio fills, unit locations, volumes of op sec info, hop a plane to Pakistan and post everything on the internet. Then hold blow-hard hero coronation/ceremonial banquet pressers. And extoll the virtues of his temp host nation.

    I say call his bluff -and have him run the clandestine services - he seems to have all the answers on how to stop terrorism.

  3. You could be eligible to get a Apple iPhone 7.