tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8255889363485225211.post3147377978233567071..comments2024-02-10T02:22:13.645-06:00Comments on EMBRACE THE SUCK...: So...Mud Puppyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10439904004741498131noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8255889363485225211.post-21281157447548522622011-01-29T05:00:46.590-06:002011-01-29T05:00:46.590-06:00Ok, being new to your blog, let me say hi first.
I...Ok, being new to your blog, let me say hi first.<br />I'm a german living in germany, I've lived in Australia for a while some years back, I have some american soldier friends, I have lots of friends in Australia and the US and the UK, I'm fluent in english and apparently don't have an accent, except when I do. So now you know where I come from and why I am here.<br />I'm also a single mum of two (3&10) so I know about legal battles and about kids fighting and small scale violence. Nothing like a warzone though. I work for a minimum wage cleaning a grocery store.<br /><br />So, my thoughts about violence as a solution... <br />Yeah sure, sometimes all I want to do is knock my kids heads together until their teeth rattle and they fucking quit the fucking fighting, fuck it, ARGH!! But, you know, in time they'd definitely a) get used to it and not really care about being knocked about b) they'd grow up thinking this was perfectly normal behaviour and treat their friends and later lovers and kids the same, and I don't think that would be a healthy way to live for neither them nor their friends.<br />Once you start using violence as a way to solve problems you can't stop, at least not cold turkey. You have to first find something to replace the violence with.<br />When we're talking about parenting, once you use spanking as your only way to punish your kids you'll soon be hitting them with a spoon or your belt or sticks or paddles or even worse, because they will start to grow immune to the spankings. (Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with giving my kids a slap on the hand or the butt when they really fuck up and need to be dealt with swiftly and in a way that they will actually feel). But in general it works a lot better to sit the kids down and talk to them about what went wrong just then and how they can actually do it better. Chances are they just fucked up because they didn't know any better so slapping them will not really stop them from doing it again, but telling them a better way will give them the chance to actually do something differently.<br /><br />When we're talking about countries... I guess violence just encourages violence. You can't start peace by pointing a gun at someone. It's not a very peaceful thing to do.<br />You need to teach peace, to teach ways to live without weapons... And I believe quite firmly it also means empowering women. Not because I'm a radical feminist but because women are the ones raising the children, the next generation. And if you raise the next generation in fear you can't expect them to live confidently and peacefully. <br />I also believe that taking away women's voices is bad because, as we raise our children, we learn a lot about how to get people to act in a way we want them to. So taking away our input means letting men speak who haven't had that experience. Especially in muslim countries where women are largely living as "prisoners" of the males. They don't get to go out and do the shopping by themselves and when they feel like it, they don't get to go out and meet their girlfriends for coffee, they get to stay inside, cook, clean, do laundry, raise the children. And that is also a dangerous way to live. Because it means all you know of the world outside is what you're being told. And that also creates fear.nicolehttp://nlandauATt-online.denoreply@blogger.com