How dead on accurate is that? Pretty much hits the nail on the head if you ask me. And don't worry, this won't be me railing against society or any of that shit. Its going to be me, beating on me.
I've lived just like he said. I've been completely vanilla. Completely mediocre. Haven't accomplished a tenth of what I am capable.
Kinda floated along, never steered the boat. And its enough to make me want to puke.
Now the question that has to be answered is, what the fuck are you going to do about it?
That's pretty much the question that has to be answered every moment of our lives. What the fuck are you going to do?
Are you going to lay down?
Are you going to surrender to circumstance?
Are you going to take what they dish out?
Are you going to fight?
The trouble is, for me anyway, that the answer to each and every one of those questions is, "I don't fucking know."
And that, my well read friends is the root of all my problems.
Have you ever had one of those days? One of those days where you just couldn't get out of first gear. One of those days where you were stuck in slow motion. One of those days where it was like you were walking through molasses.
Of course you have, we've all had them.
I found the cure.
Killswitch Engage
Now for those of you with no clue what the hell I'm talking about, here's a song by Killswitch:
Now we could argue about labels, I suppose there are some out there who wouldn't classify this as death metal, but you know what? This is my blog, so fuck you only my definitions matter and I say this is death metal.
Regardless of what you think of the music, that's irrelevant. What matters is that you recognize the energy. If you can listen to this music and not have your pulse quicken, then I'm going to venture a guess and say that you don't have a pulse.
So maybe it was fate, maybe karma was looking out for me, maybe some little green leprechaun who lives in my iPod decided that it was time to snap me out of the funk I had been in. And he played Killswitch Engage and I came to life.
I swear I could feel my blood pumping through my veins, I felt my plaque start flowing again. The haze of weariness lifted off of me and I got to work. Not like I solved the mystery of cold fusion or anything. I just went home, cleaned the house, cooked, cleaned my guns, did some grocery shopping,moved some furniture around, wrote a post about "Accidents of Birth", read my book, washed my ass, did some homework and went to sleep. After playing the tackling dummy for goon squad practice at work. I got more done in one afternoon/evening than I had all week up to that point.
I'm not saying all this to brag, I'm saying it because one song, one song got the engine running again. One song, took me from (forgive me for dis) zero to hero, one song brought me back to life.
It amazed me. How could it not? 4 minutes of pure musical energy pumped enough motivation into me to propel me through an entire evening. Don't get me wrong, I hit repeat a few times to give me a little shot here and there, but it worked.
So the question is this, does anybody know how music can have that kind of power over us, and what music moves you? And which way does it move you? I wanna know.
Plus, check THIS out. They are using music to heal disabled veterans. Now I freaked out mildly because I thought up the title to this post prior to finding that article, and I see they beat me to it...word for word.
I'm curious, what's on your playlist when you get in that funk? What music motivates you? What gets your plaque flowing?
“Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn't a skill... it's a fucking genetic accident. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer.”
-George Carlin
You hear a lot of this shit going around today.
Black pride and/or power.
Latino pride
Irish pride
Southern Pride
Girl Power
Puerto Rican Pride
Italian pride
Yada, yada yada. Bunch of horseshit.
It's simple. You were born those things. You didn't do anything to become them. You could've just as easily been born a disabled Swahili hermaphrodite.
All of these things are accidents of birth.
So let's all take George's advice and be happy that we are those things. Don't pretend that they are some sort of perverse source of pride. Because they're not. If you have to look to things that are genetic accidents for pride then obviously you have some work to do because you haven't gotten out of the house enough.
Especially Americans. Americans believe that they live in the greatest country on earth, and you know what they're right. Here's the rub. A lot of us, myself included in many respects, didn't do a damn thing to get this country to where it is. We don't have any right to be proud of it, we have all the right in the world to be happy that we are Americans but we don't have much to be proud of. Pride comes from things you did. Now if you did things deserving of respect and worthy of being proud then God bless you. If you haven't then get off your ass and do something.
It'd be like Bill Gates' kid being proud of Microsoft, or Steve Jobs kid being proud of Apple. Sorry Junior you didn't do a damned thing to build that company. You get to enjoy the ridiculous riches that come with being the heir to a gigantic fortune amassed by the production of those companies, but you didn't do shit. Be happy that you're rich and never have to work a day in your miserable 1%er life. But don't you dare sully your father's names by being proud of something they did.
You want to be proud...then work for it.
But, George already told you, and I'm going to tell you again. Don't forget your Proverbs.
"Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18
Stephen Hawking, Sigmund Freud, Christopher Hitchens, Charles Darwin and a couple of cats that I haven't a fucking clue who they are...
...But I do know that the drunken, spray tanned cum bucket on the right is Snookie.
So I may very well be part of what's wrong with this world. At least I'm part of the way there.
Popularly speaking, we've lost an element of respect for those of us who actually fucking do things. Stephen Hawking has figured out a whole bunch of theoretical physics shit. Freud taught us that our mothers are the root of all evil. (Fuck him) Einstein taught us that space and time are pliable. Hitchens questioned everything and then wrote about it. And I'm sure that the remainder of the faces on that picture DID some pretty incredible things.
Whereas, Snooki got drunk in New Jersey and got punched in the face by a drunk monkey. And the world watched in rapt attention.
She makes more money than the President of the United States to do what? Not a damn thing. She lives in a house populated with a group of people (using that term loosely) who if you were to take their combined IQ's and add them up you might get the batting average of the lowly Chicago Cubs.
You've got an entire generation of drooling monkeys who worship at the altar of celebrity. Which wouldn't bother me so much if the prerequisites for entrance into the celebrity class were just a bit more selective than they are...
Cases in point:
Brittany Spears-married some chooch, shaved her head and dropped her kid. Loved by millions.
Justin Bieber-is famous for being the faggiest 10 year old kid in history. Loved by millions.
Paris Hilton-famous because she sucked off a rich guy while on a night vision camera. Loved by millions.
The Entire Cast of the Jersey Shore-lifts weights, tans and gets hammered. Not a single measurable accomplishment amongst the lot. Loved by millions.
Lindsay Lohan-famous for getting drunk and stoned. Loved by millions.
Kanye West-famous for, I dunno being black. Loved by millions.
Kim Kardashian-like Paris Hilton famous for being rich, getting nailed by a rapper, and having a fat ass. Loved by millions.
Chris Brown-famous for punching Rihanna in the face. Loved by millions.
We love our morons. I mean we're heading for 4 in a row Presidentially speaking.
Plus, apparently we don't have any standard of accomplishment when it comes to our hero worship.
Let's just take our last two Presidents as an example.
George Bush, basically had the world handed to him on a silver platter. Which he promptly spat upon and filled with booze and cocaine. He dodged out of his duty in the National Guard because daddy was a big shot with the CIA. He couldn't pull his head out of his ass long enough to not start a war. And he went to Yale because daddy got him in, got C's and still managed to lead us into the shithouse.
Barack Obama, what was he like 26 when we elected him president? A lot of people say he hadn't done anything. To which I respond, he didn't have any time, he got elected as an adolescent! He gave a speech after receiving the Nobel PEACE Prize on why we have to stay at war in Afghanistan. And so far as I can tell prior to becoming a politician his only job was "community organizer" Fuck me, I know some inmates who you could call community organizers. And he took over a shitty country, and has been remarkably successful in keeping it that way.
You always hear how the generation coming up now wants everything handed to them. No one wants to work. They want to come in the door and be making big bucks and making all the decisions.
Well, can you fucking blame them when this is the caliber of what passes for celebrities and the elite. Rich folks. And everyone wants to be rich. Being rich is the American dream. And if you don't think it is, then you are just...well a fucking dip shit.
Well you wanna know what, where does it all come from...take it away Mr. Carlin.
Now he might have been talking about just politicians. But I think it applies across the board.
Where are all the people of conscience? Where are all the bright, upstanding folks to take us out of all this?
Fuck you thunder, you can suck my dick. You can't get me thunder, because you're just God's farts!
That's just a small sampling of the many memorable lines from "TED" a movie about Mark Wahlberg and his magic teddy bear that comes to life and grows into a 35 year old adolescent and ruins his life and then saves it all in one movie.
First thing that's great about this movie. The trailer highlights a lot of the funny parts, but it ISN'T all of them.
Second thing that's great about this movie. Its about a talking magic teddy bear that has a dirtier mouth than I fucking do! What's not to love? I mean there's something very special about seeing a magic teddy bear nailing a hot check out girl on the produce in the back of a grocery store.
The story is the usual. Nothing new under the sun there. But the way they portray Ted is a thing of beauty, not to mention he has Seth McFarland, of Family Guy fame doing his voice.
So you've got Mark Wahlberg. Ladies love Marky Mark.
You've got Mila Kunis, who makes me feel funny in the pants.
And you've got a foul mouthed teddy bear to round it off.
So, if you've never heard a girl from Boston have an orgasm, I HIGHLY recommend you see this flick.
