So now that I have gotten that bullshit 3 day pass out the way, we can actually get down to business. Which consists of something like an entire company of soldiers sitting on a drill floor made for a group of soldiers no where near a company size and sweating my entirely too small balls off for the better part of the evening waiting for the ridiculously early wake up call that will inevitably come and then we can actually get this show on the road.
I had to do the whole tearful goodbye thing again. Needless to say that sucked major monkey nuts. (Sorry mom, I am back to talking like a soldier) My mother brought forth the water works in the driveway today when I got picked up. Suffice it to say I needed to rehydrate myself after I had left. Then I proceeded to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes inside of 3 hours. My lungs are screaming for mercy as I write this.
Then after all that fun. We got to the armory and began the actually Army part of this my most wonderful day. So they fall us into formation and do the whole roll call thing. That went swimmingly. However, something did happen that I think bears repeating. So as is customary there was a bunch of soldiers that were late. Not to mention they weren't smart enough to stay out the AO until the formation was over and then take a beating from their platoon daddy. So they tried to run in through the door and get into formation prior to their name being called.
Our commander was standing behind the formation and as they were shuffling past him all I could hear was him saying in a rather aggressive voice, "Don't walk in front of me, you stay behind me when you come past." And then to put a little bit of icing on his cake when a guy came past him that didn't hear the warning and he walked right in front of him, he dropped him. Meaning he set him down on the ground and made him do some push ups. Embarrassing him in front of his family and what not.
Now I know that all the gung ho, hard charging, go Army types will say that proper military courtesy says that you don't walk in front of this guy during formation, and thats fine because technically they are probably right. But do I care? Nope, not even a little bit. That my friends, was bullshit. There was no need for all of that. This is stressful enough without this guy adding a little layer to it. I mean I couldn't help but start to sing, in a very soft voice to whoever could hear me in formation, "I SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS SHINING THROUGH" I mean, is there any need for this guy to swing his cock around at the expense of this soldier who's only sin was walking in front of him? But I digress, he's the one who has to deal with that in his own mind. Thankfully for him, its small enough to take that in stride.
Then he gave us our little motivational beginning of deployment speech. Holding true to form, our commander is about as inspiring and motivational as a good case of herpes. So he went through most of it without me being able to pick out anything to really get in a huff about, so I was a bit disappointed but then it happened. He stated that we should never forget our families. (Alright, no problem there) But we should put them in the back of our minds in order to focus on the mission. (No problem, you got it Sir.) Then he said, "Because if you don't put them out of your mind and focus on the mission, you might never see them again." (Alright, Now I've got an issue.)
Everyone's families were still there. They were all standing off in the wings and waiting for their chance to see us off properly, and they heard every word of what he was saying. Oh yeah, that is what someone's mother really needs to hear. I am sure they appreciated that greatly. It never ceases to amaze me how some people just have a gift for saying the wrong thing. He can say that shit to us, that's fine. How could anyone think it was a good idea to say that in front of everyone's family? Especially when they are sending us off to a warzone for the next year. I wish there was some way I could apologize to the families for him, but that ain't going to happen so I digress.
So now I am sitting here on a brand new Army cot, sweating profusely and tip tapping away at my computer with a very unique sense of dread coming over me. Fear of the unknown is setting in and I hope it goes away as I get busier because needless to say this sucks balls.
I'll leave you with a thought, and a take off of something that our commander told us. He said, that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Real original of him. I wonder if he checked the quote book for that little gem. But I say this...
"A JORNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES BEGINS WITH A SINGLE STEP...AND A WHOLE LOT OF BITCHING"
And for those of you who are keeping track, I didn't make that one up, I am repeating it. Later...