Just A Few Thoughts...

About what is about to happen to me. The more that I think about this next year, at least a year, the Army has a real nasty habit of making people stay longer than they are actually supposed to. So I am figuring on at least 18 months, but I guess all that means is more cash for me. That and a larger time frame in which to get killed, but what are you gonna do.

I have been thinking about the fact that for the last 100 years or so, the world has been in a pretty much perpetual state of warfare. Afghanistan has been going through this shit for decades now, if not longer. I admit that I haven't studied as much Afghan history as I would have liked. However, I figure that I am about to get a crash course in that anyways so why bother.

WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Grenada, Panama, The Persian Gulf, Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Kosovo and a million other little places that escape me now. How in the hell could we have pulled that off? Its almost as though someone in power didn't desire for peace. Am I crazy when I think that peace is the desired condition of human relationships? Yeah, I guess this is my hippy rant but I think I have earned the right to think this way.

Now the thought that keeps running through my head is this, What's the point of all of this? Now I know what the party line says the point is, freedom, democracy and the American way, blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong those are all noble goals and well worth fighting for. But we all know that regardless of what the powers that be tell us, that is not what we are fighting for.

Me, personally, I am fighting because, well if I didn't the Army would take a giant shit on me. (Figuratively speaking) But I'll also admit that I am fighting for money. I am from what I would characterize as the middle class, lower end, but the middle class nonetheless. That being said, I have very few opportunities in my lifetime to make $50,000 tax free with little if any chance to spend any of it. And that kind of money will get me completely out of debt, get me a new car, and give me a nice little down payment for my little piece of the American dream when I get back. And yes, if you were wondering, that kind of money is worth fighting for to me. Not dying for, but definitely worth fighting for. Now the money that my family will get if I do die is more than worth dying for, especially to someone like me who has been pretty much living paycheck to paycheck since I started getting a paycheck.

I know that thoughts like that are pretty morbid, but I guess if you grew up on the poorer side of the spectrum and you watched your family struggle to keep up for the past 30 some years, you would probably have a little bit different perspective on just how much money is worth. Anyone who thinks that money can't buy happiness, doesn't know where to shop.

But that is what this all boils down to. It does make me laugh that in the event of my death the powers that be are willing to pay my family a sum of money that had I lived it would have taken me 17 and half years to make at my current rate of pay. I mean war is a nice little gig for soldiers (its better for those cocksucking private contractors) but whatever. We get every special pay that you can imagine and we don't have to pay taxes which makes me happy. I guess that could be considered lube for the big red, white and blue dick that is about to be shoved up all of our collective asses when we get over there.

So if you look at it the right way, the way that I think the powers that be look at it. This is business, just business. They have figured out a way to entice guys like me to enlist and stay in the military, because lets be honest folks, I paid my debts to society a long time ago, I am here for the cheese baby. The war is huge. A billion dollars a day! I have never had more than $6,000 in my checking account and this shit costs a billion dollars a day. So lets just get this little fact out the way. This has nothing to do with helping anyone, or bringing American ideals to the world or our freedom or anything noble. THIS IS ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING MONEY. Plain and simple. You know what (and I hate myself for admitting this) I am ok with that.

If I play my cards right over the next year and save my cash and not get killed when I come back I'll be like 5-10 years ahead of my peers financially speaking. And like I said before, to me as of right now, it is more than worth what I have to do to get there.

Now hopefully, over the next year I change my mind on a lot of this stuff. Because reading back over what I just wrote, I sound like one mercenary asshole. And that makes me sad. But I'll be fine, I'll be just fine.