They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Nov 2, 2008

Charlie Foxtroting Our Way All The Way Too AssCrackIstan...

So the trip over here...What can I say? Not a whole lot really because it was probably one of the larger clusterfucks I have ever been a part of. And I have been in the military for over a decade now.

We flew out of Fort Bragg at like 1400 the other day. I don't really know which day due to the fact that the time change and all that shit has rendered me completely ignorant of what time or day it is right now, but sooner or later I will get a hold of it.

We flew directly from Bragg to someplace in Ireland, which was nice. Except for the fact that we were not allowed to leave the airport. So I got to see the homeland but I could only stare at it out the terminal window or see it through the chain link fence that surrounded the smoking area. But something is better than nothing.

Then we proceeded to fly to about 20 different countries and stop every 2 hours or so on our way to where we ended up now. I can't tell you where but I can tell you that it is cold, rainy and has really poor sanitation. So we are in Seattle. Kidding...

So when we got here we had the issue of the bags. The mountain of shit that we brought along with us from the states. An entire company worth of baggage. Lots o' shit, to say the least. Now the Army doesn't do anything the easy way nor does the Army do anything the way that civilians would do it, and the Army does nothing that makes any sense so here is how we handled this little issue.

We threw all our bags from the plane into the back of a box truck and dragged this truck back to this little outpost we are staying at now. Then our leadership, in their infinite wisdom, realized that there were things in those bags that we might need. So they piled them all up in a row and turned an entire company loose on them and said find your bags, get what you need and then get back to the sleeping area. Wow, you should've seen this shit.

200 people all grabbing and bagging, pitching and catching shit all over the place. I swear to you it looked like something out of a Mel Brook's movie. So that took us about an hour and a half to deal with, and now its like 0200 or something like that. I don't really know, but its a good guess, its dark outside.

Now we are going to spend the rest of the night getting cleaned up and putting our stuff away. Which made me laugh when they told us to do that, due to the fact that we are sleeping in bunk beds that are about 2 feet apart and back to back. So there is literally no where to put your stuff, and now we have bags upon bags to put in there with us. Needless to say someone is going to lose something. I just hope it isn't important.

So I will leave you with that. I wish you all could see this for yourselves, I promise you, you would never stop laughing. But I got to go my Platoon Sergeant has let it be known that he wants everything dress right dress within the next 30 minutes so....


I love you mom...


  1. Good to hear you are safe, MudPuppy!
    Stay Strong!
    Pray Hard!

    ~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

  2. Good to hear you got there okay, and thanks for painting that picture with words.

  3. OK its offical I am hooked on your blog, not only do you add a smile to my morning with how you phrase your words but you do have a good way of painting the view you are seeing. Stay safe.

  4. Oh God. Dress, right Dress. The bain of my existence back in the day.

    Glad you got there okay.