They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Nov 14, 2008

Operaton Combat Blue Balls Is Continuing With A Vengeance

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 2057 Hrs.

Well guess what? We got bumped from our flight again. Yep, we loaded up all that shit again, piled into those ridiculous buses, again. And unloaded all the shit and piled it into trucks and palletized some of the other stuff and we got all hyped up like we were actually going somewhere and what happens? We get bumped. Fun for me. Fun for everyone. Or as Pigpen would say, "Gay sex for everybody"

Yeah, I am so very impressed with the level of organization in the US Army. I can't even blame this shit on the Air Force anymore. This one is all courtesy of Uncle Sam's Mean Green Machine.

So here I sit typing this, and watching "Superbad" in this wonderful little "airport" that the Army has set up here and my blue balls are getting to the danger point. I mean really, how many times could they bring me right to the brink and then leave me unsatisfied. Now I know what every woman who was ever goodly enough to sleep with me felt like.

Well moving on, what is there to talk about today. I wonder what McLovin would have to say about this. He'd probably tell these people what time it is.

Ah, my brain is frozen. When are we going to go to war with someone who lives someplace nice. Why couldn't we fight with Tahiti or some country like that. I mean we made up a reason to invade Iraq, why can't we make up a reason to invade Tahiti. I think it would be fun. Uh, probably not such a good idea. Disregard the previous paragraph.

So I managed to get guard duty tonight. What am I guarding? All the shit that nobody wanted to take back to the tent with them. All the bags got thrown on two pallets so we left a few of us back to watch them to make sure nobody fucks with them. But at least I get to sleep on some nice leather couches instead of the wonderful mattresses that they have back at the FOB. That and I don't have to lug my shit all over AssCrackIstan for no good reason. So I guess the day wasn't completely wasted.

But I got to talk to the mom again today. She seems to be holding up pretty well. I can't even begin to explain what its like talking to her when I know she's hurting so bad missing me. It would probably be a little easier if she wasn't hurting because of me. I mean how much can one woman be expected to bear. But she's a tough ole' broad and she'll be fine...she'll be just fine. Like I told her, a little CCR on the radio and I'll be coming home soon.

Ah, got to stop thinking of home. Going to make myself crazy. By the way my apologies to everyone that I haven't been calling. But its just going to be like this. Anytime I get a chance to call home, I am calling mom first. End of story.

Well we got another gem of news from our headquarters. Apparently, AssCrackIstan has some pretty severe winters. Which make air travel, i.e. helicopters pretty much impossible for everything except absolute necessities. Meaning what? Meaning we are probably not going to get any mail for about 3 months or so. I don't know if that is exactly true but if we hold to form. Which we probably will. Remember the principle of "whatever sucks the most", that is what is going to happen.

Alright, I am done for now. Maybe I'll write a bit more later.


I love you mom...


  1. mudpuppy... You are an incredible gift to your mom and she to you! THANK YOU for posting your address, along with suggestions of what to send. If you don't mind, I would like to post this information on my blog. Your idea of marking "ETS" is awesome! I will get my box together and mailed quickly!
    You are a good son, calling your mom every chance you get... she needs your voice!
    Stay Strong!
    Pray Hard!

    ~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

  2. "We made up a reason to invade Iraq, why couldn't we make up a reason to invade Tahiti?"

    Hahaha, awesome. I wish I'd thought of that before it was time for Bush to leave office, I would have done some extensive research into potential lures...not really, of course, but it's funny to think about.

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