They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jan 16, 2009

Don't Ask, Don't Tell...

So a nice young lady asked me what I thought of Obama's plan to overturn the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy that has been in effect since the Clinton administration.

Well let me begin by saying that I kind of feel about this the same way that I feel about gay marriage.

If I have to endure the abject horror that is marriage just because I am straight, why should these guys be shielded from it just because they're gay?

First let me say that I have absolutely no problems with gay people, in fact I love gay men! That's right I love gay men. Why? Because every gay man there is, is one less guy I have to compete with for skirts. I wish every man were gay...except me.

Not to mention I am fully in support of lesbian marriage as long as both lesbians are really, really hot...kidding.

Alright enough of the jokes.

I would support the dissolution of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for the simple reason that I don't think that sexual orientation should mean shit when it comes to military service. There is no task, or training, or event in the military that has anything to do with who you fuck. The military, whether it likes it or not, has got to evolve along with society.

I mean at one time, blacks were not allowed to serve in the military at all. Then when they were allowed to serve, they were not allowed to serve alongside whites, they had their own segregated units. Society got over that, so why the hell can't they get over this.

I don't know maybe they should start with all gay units under straight officers. Then we could move on to integrating them into the service as a whole. This could actually be fun, station them in a new fort in San Francisco and they could wear a rainbow patch. That would be hilarious.

In the last election and in the recent past, a lot has been made of the politics of inclusion as opposed to division. I, for the life of me, cannot understand why we as the most advanced, and (supposedly) civilized nation on earth would still cling to the idea that someone is unfit for military service because of who they like to boink. Wait a second, it's not even that, because obviously the government has realized that gay people are more than capable of serving. They just can't serve and let people know that they are gay at the same time. Basically, what they are saying is that the military is full of unenlightened fucking cavemen who couldn't deal with a gay man or woman being around without their head's exploding. Which, sadly is probably true.

The sexual culture of the military as a whole is something that is deserving of a long, and exhaustive psychological study in sexual dysfunction. I mean we spend all this time worrying about gay people in the military, yet very little attention is paid to the absolutely abysmal divorce rates in the military, not to mention the insane amount of infidelity (geographic bachelor's anyone), throw in a rape or two, and the fact that most of our females are just as bad as the guys, and you have a recipe for a gigantic shit sandwich.

With all of that going on, I'd have to say that gay people are the least of the military's worries.

On the flip side, the policy also serves to protect the gay people who want to serve from the ignorant, fuck sticks that the military seems to love so much. When the policy gets overturned there will be at least a few military members who come out of the closet and when they do, there will be at least a few of them that feel the heat for it.

So there's that, and that would suck. But at least everyone in the military should know how to defend themselves and we all have guns so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I think. But it probably would be.

Then there is always the religious thing. Let's get one thing out of the way right away, the U.S. military is unabashedly Christian. You want to argue with me you can but no one is going to convince me otherwise. I probably have about 6 Bibles that have ACU pattern covers, I was given a New Testament when I was at MEPS, I got another one in Korea, I got a few more here, and on and on. They have a "non-mandatory prayer time" prior to every mission, and how many military chapels or churches have you seen that were not Christian. I saw a Mosque at Fort Bragg but it was just a room in a building, not a stand alone building like the chapels I have seen elsewhere.

Unfortunately, religion and I have never really gotten along. God, now he's another story. I am a big fan of God and all that he/she teaches. I was raised and educated in a Lutheran school, regrettably for them I was also raised by my mother who made a questioner out of me. Now God tells us to love our neighbors and treat others as we would want to be treated. Then the church goes and throws in "unless they are gay". Well then God goes on to say somewhere in that book of his/hers "Judge not, lest ye be judged" Now that's a good one. Because it seems like the only thing that the church is really capable of anymore is judging people. Seems like God may have known ahead of time that at least a few people would run around being douche bags in his/her name.

Note: Going off on a tangent now.

I guess the whole thing with gay people comes down to whether they are born that way or if something happens to them that makes them that way. I cannot for one second believe that something makes them that way. I may be wrong, but it breaks down like this for me. When I was younger no one had to tell me that something was going on when Phoebe Cates got out of the pool in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" and took her top off. My little soldier let me know, loud and clear, that something was UP!

I was never told to like girls, I was never trained or conditioned to like girls. It just kind of happened, naturally. I would venture a guess to say that it is the same thing for gay people. Except that they get all riled up for James Bond, instead of the Bond girl.

Note: Now I'm back.

So I figure that the dissolution of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy is a necessary step in the evolution of our military to mirror the evolution of our society. It's not going to be easy, simply because there are still some real assholes floating around. So that's what I think about Obama's plan for the policy.

And now I am done.


I love you mom...


  1. I believe 100% in God. I do NOT believe in organized religion. Sorry but in my opinion they are all some form of cult.
    As far as Gays in the Military, my opinion there has always been: I wont ask, I wont tell.
    Like you said.... Judge not lest you be judged.

    Stay safe,

  2. My husband and I actually talked about this before he deployed and he echoed a lot of the same sentiments. It just doesn't seem practical anymore.

  3. I just hope they treat the gays better than they do women. I have been in 23 years and I have put up with some real shit. I am all for being one of the guys and the dirty jokes and all. Just don't make it personal and keep your hands off. I have taken a lot of crap but the few times I have defended myself I got moved. I don't care who serves as long as they do their job.

  4. :) I know you were joking ... and, I agree with your sentiments, however, just saying ...

    "and they could wear a rainbow patch" ...

  5. When Truman integrated the military it was really "revolutionary" for the time. Jim Crow was alive and well in the south and even liberal California had the policy of "restrictive covenants" (a way to keep black people out of neighborhoods). But, unfortunately, we're behind the power curve now when it comes to homosexual rights. Repealing DADT will probably have little effect on the military (there's not that many secrets on deployment), but will have a big effect on negative perceptions some Americans have towards the military as being "oppressive". Good post.

  6. Someone beat me to posting about the 42nd, but I would say that regarding a unit in San Francisco, the Presidio is pretty well full. They might be able to find some space at Fort Ord, though.

    When asked about this back in 1992-3 time frame (I was commissioned in 93) my stock response was "I think everyone should have the right to die for their country."

    If the civilian leadership tells the Army to do something, their job is to do it. That may mean smashing the Ais powers, it may mean cleaning up a mess in Haiti, and it may mean dealing with the fact that Soldiers of the same sex like to bang each other. Salute and drive on.

    Don't Ask,Don't Tell needs to go away. It will be a big deal for maybe a year, and then it will be business as usual.

    Great Article. Really well written.

  7. mudpuppy,

    I was raised to treat all people equally no matter the race, religion or sexual orientation. I have 2 wonderful friends who are lesbians and they actually got married and invited hubby and I to their wedding. We went.

    Enjoyed your post. Take care and stay safe.


  8. Another excellent post. All the griping about gays in the military ignores the fact that there have always been gays in the military. One thing DADT did was give me an officially licensed way to ignore somebody's partner preferences. I never asked, nobody ever told me, we all knew anyway, and they did their jobs just like everybody else. Cool.

    Keep your head down. And keep posting.

  9. Well said Mudpuppy...I agree with you 100% that gays in the military are the least of the miitary's problems. The are many areas in the military that need to change in order to "evolve along with society." Maybe the ones who need to be in the don't ask, don't tell closet are the "ignorant fuck sticks!" Love the part about the gigantic shit true!

    All of a sudden I am like three posts behind, so I have to get reading. Take care MP.

  10. Maybe they should allow only gays in the Army?
    Then the narrow minded ass bags that worry about this crap could learn what it's like in the real world.
    While they looked for a job.

    I feel better.
    Hi Mom, you dun good raising this one.
    Got any more?