Don't Ask, Don't Tell...

So a nice young lady asked me what I thought of Obama's plan to overturn the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy that has been in effect since the Clinton administration.

Well let me begin by saying that I kind of feel about this the same way that I feel about gay marriage.

If I have to endure the abject horror that is marriage just because I am straight, why should these guys be shielded from it just because they're gay?

First let me say that I have absolutely no problems with gay people, in fact I love gay men! That's right I love gay men. Why? Because every gay man there is, is one less guy I have to compete with for skirts. I wish every man were gay...except me.

Not to mention I am fully in support of lesbian marriage as well...so long as both lesbians are really, really hot...kidding.

Alright enough of the jokes.

I would support the dissolution of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for the simple reason that I don't think that sexual orientation should mean shit when it comes to military service. There is no task, or training, or event in the military that has anything to do with who you fuck. The military, whether it likes it or not, has got to evolve along with society.

I mean at one time, blacks were not allowed to serve in the military at all. Then when they were allowed to serve, they were not allowed to serve alongside whites, they had their own segregated units. Society got over that, so why the hell can't they get over this.

I don't know maybe they should start with all gay units under straight officers. Then we could move on to integrating them into the service as a whole. This could actually be fun, station them in a new fort in San Francisco and they could wear a rainbow patch. That would be hilarious.

In the last election and in the recent past, a lot has been made of the politics of inclusion as opposed to division. I, for the life of me, cannot understand why we as the most advanced, and (supposedly) civilized nation on earth would still cling to the idea that someone is unfit for military service because of who they like to boink. Wait a second, it's not even that, because obviously the government has realized that gay people are more than capable of serving. They just can't serve and let people know that they are gay at the same time. Basically, what they are saying is that the military is full of unenlightened fucking cavemen who couldn't deal with a gay man or woman being around without their head's exploding. Which, sadly is probably true.

The sexual culture of the military as a whole is something that is deserving of a long, and exhaustive psychological study in sexual dysfunction. I mean we spend all this time worrying about gay people in the military, yet very little attention is paid to the absolutely abysmal divorce rates in the military, not to mention the insane amount of infidelity (geographic bachelor's anyone), throw in a rape or two, and the fact that most of our females are just as bad as the guys, and you have a recipe for a gigantic shit sandwich.

With all of that going on, I'd have to say that gay people are the least of the military's worries.

On the flip side, the policy also serves to protect the gay people who want to serve from the ignorant, fuck sticks that the military seems to love so much. When the policy gets overturned there will be at least a few military members who come out of the closet and when they do, there will be at least a few of them that feel the heat for it.

So there's that, and that would suck. But at least everyone in the military should know how to defend themselves and we all have guns so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I think. But it probably would be.

Then there is always the religious thing. Let's get one thing out of the way right away, the U.S. military is unabashedly Christian. You want to argue with me you can but no one is going to convince me otherwise. I probably have about 6 Bibles that have ACU pattern covers, I was given a New Testament when I was at MEPS, I got another one in Korea, I got a few more here, and on and on. They have a "non-mandatory prayer time" prior to every mission, and how many military chapels or churches have you seen that were not Christian. I saw a Mosque at Fort Bragg but it was just a room in a building, not a stand alone building like the chapels I have seen elsewhere.

Unfortunately, religion and I have never really gotten along. God, now he's another story. I am a big fan of God and all that he/she teaches. I was raised and educated in a Lutheran school, regrettably for them I was also raised by my mother who made a questioner out of me. Now God tells us to love our neighbors and treat others as we would want to be treated. Then the church goes and throws in "unless they are gay". Well then God goes on to say somewhere in that book of his/hers "Judge not, lest ye be judged" Now that's a good one. Because it seems like the only thing that the church is really capable of anymore is judging people. Seems like God may have known ahead of time that at least a few people would run around being douche bags in his/her name.

Note: Going off on a tangent now.

I guess the whole thing with gay people comes down to whether they are born that way or if something happens to them that makes them that way. I cannot for one second believe that something makes them that way. I may be wrong, but it breaks down like this for me. When I was younger no one had to tell me that something was going on when Phoebe Cates got out of the pool in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" and took her top off. My little soldier let me know, loud and clear, that something was UP!



I was never told to like girls, I was never trained or conditioned to like girls. It just kind of happened, naturally. I would venture a guess to say that it is the same thing for gay people. Except that they get all riled up for James Bond, instead of the Bond girl.

Note: Now I'm back.

So I figure that the dissolution of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy is a necessary step in the evolution of our military to mirror the evolution of our society. It's not going to be easy, simply because there are still some real assholes floating around. So that's what I think about Obama's plan for the policy.

And now I am done.

Later,

I love you mom...