They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jan 28, 2009

Ladies & Gentlemen, We Now Return To Your Regularly Scheduled Program...

So I am writing this from the computer lab in Qatar the day before I am scheduled to leave this wonderful place to return, ever so eagerly to the "suck"

I figured I would write this one today while I know that I have the time and the access to the internet. I don't really know when I am going to have these opportunities again.

So these last few days have been surreal to say the least. I had successfully suppressed the memory of all things that I missed about home. Then I came here and they all came running right back to me and started wriggling around on my face.

Certain things that everyone back home really takes for granted are amongst the things that will become the most important things in the world to you. I mean I haven't had to put on boots, or shoes to go to the bathroom in over a week. I have actually skipped meals because I was still stuffed from the last trip to the table. I have not had to wipe the inch and half of dust that usually settles on everything I own. I have not had to carry a weapon with me wherever I go. I am decidedly uninspired today because I know this little diatribe should be a lot funnier than it actually is...

Moving on, it just makes me wonder. I have been watching a bit of TV here and there and trying to catch up with what is going on back home. Unfortunately for me, not a damn thing has changed. Blago got indicted. Which is like an early Christmas present for every citizen of Illinois. Fuck that guy.

-Man admits stealing $400,000 from former nun.
-3-month old boy found dead in filthy apartment.
-Shelter owner sold cat food for drugs.
-Area home prices dip 12.5%, in November, national decline sets record.

Just a few of the tag-lines that I read on the Chicago Sun-Times website. Seems ridiculously similar to all the shit that was going on when I left. Then it really made me laugh that as you look around the site there are about 3 pictures of Obama on the front page, and another couple of Oprah, and then an article about how watermelon can't replace viagra or some shit.

3rd largest city in America folks, and this is the best they can do. Check that, this is what the American public wants to know about. Give us the bad news, but sugar coat it with Oprah and her mountain of bullshit, and articles about how to improve our sex lives, make our dick's bigger, and then tell us what movie to see this weekend. Well if this is the best that we can do folks, I don't want anything to do with it.

I am still looking at this page and I have yet to find something about the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. Oh wait, here it is..."U.S. 'lost' in Afghanistan" (Pause while I read this one) Now I am going to get to this one, but first let me say this am I the only one who reads the Sun-Times who finds it contemptible that the entertainment, and lifestyles sections are above the Business section? Which one is more important?

Moving on, you can read the article that I am about to blabber about HERE.

So Mr. Gates believes that we will lose Afghanistan if we don't limit civilian casualties. Thank you for that very astute observation sir. I agree with you completely.

This is one of the most annoying things about the leadership of the military, both the brass and the civilian overseers in Washington. They tell you to do something, and they give you absolutely no idea as to how to accomplish the goal they set for you. Now I don't want the bureaucrats in Washington to tell us everything to do step by step. Nor do I want that from the brass. But what the hell are they thinking? That we are going out of our way to kill civilians?

Here is the thing, just like in Vietnam, the fucking Taliban look just like the civilians. Nobody wears uniforms, they pop up out of no where, hit you, and then melt right back in with the population.

So how do you defeat an enemy that hides amongst the population? You take away their hiding place. Turn the civilians against them. I can tell you with a certain amount of certainty that the people of Afghanistan hate the Taliban with a passion, trouble is they hate us more.

How do you turn the civilians against them? Refer to the two posts, they will tell you what I think of that. ONE TWO

Now they are considering doubling our troop presence here. Well thank you very much, Mr. Gates and Mr. Obama. Now where is everyone else? Even if they double our presence here, we don't even have half the guys here that they had in Iraq!

Well let's see if we can control the border with that shit. We couldn't control from Terewa to the Khyber Pass with that. It's bullshit, we could flood Iraq with soldiers, but not Afghanistan? Last time I checked, Afghanistan was the one where we knew we were in the right.

They go on and on...fucking retards that have never set foot in Afghanistan, I am not sure that any of these guys has ever left Washington.

But that's it for today folks, my brain is fried trying to think about this stuff. It never ceases to amaze me that a war can be going on where American's are dying every day and the newspapers are actually worried about what the fuck Michelle Obama is wearing. Well, that was your news break and now we return to your regularly scheduled program...


I love you mom...


  1. Good Morning Mudpuppy,

    First I would like to comment on your "Gay Day" Man you are tough! Never in a million years would I let some chick check out my toes! Absolutely gross. Sounds like you enjoyed it so Gay sa ra, sa ra or something like that.

    You have now just outlined your career path. Complete your military service by going to Officer's school and leading young men in the manner you outlined that they need to be lead in. No more Port-a-Johns labeled Air Force only!

    Next retire and run for a political office and fight for change to help the soldier on the front lines. Never losing sight of what "you" and Duby and the rest of the guys have gone through.

    Now that I have helped you run your life I must leave and go help Jacob, my son, run his. (:o) smile

  2.'s me, your 'virtual' mom telling you to listen to your 'virtual' pops! ;)
    The news is nauseating, excuse me...I meant to type the 'media is nauseating'! Afterall, they choose which stories go to print. I find reading Stars and Stripes or Military.Com is about all the print worth my time, for stories which have any intestinal fortitude. And your blog, of course!
    So now it is time for you to once again embrace the suck. We appreciate you, your words and your brothers and sisters over there!
    Stay strong!
    Pray Hard!

  3. Hey Mudpuppy,
    The American media is completely fucked up. And so are the politicians and most of the upper brass. Don't let the bastards get you down. There are a lot of us who are aware of the sitch in Afghanistan and Pakistan. And we spend a lot of time looking for information on what's going on. Just because our country's run by idiots doesn't mean that we're all stupid. Thank you for doing what you do. Hang in there. Take care. -Jenn

  4. Well I am glad you got to relax and enjoy yourself a little bit. Now it is time to get back to reality and when you do please stay safe and I look forward to more of your writings. Have a good day and I love the way you end your blogs saying I love you mom. That is great.

  5. Mudpuppy,

    I work for an advertising research company and read newspapers to gather information on the ads they run. Guess what? I actually read the Chicago Sun Times and all of the other Illinois newspapers. I understand what you are talking about. Actually they are all the same. No good news. A bunch of celebrity garbage. It's funny because I am a bit of a news junkie but after 8 hours I'm looking for mindless entertainment.

    And I swear if I see Blago's face one more time I'm going scream!

  6. Hi Ya Mud Puppy:

    Stop reading the papers! I am down to reading only read the WSJ and I am a much happier person now.

    OK, I admit it kind of stinks during hurricane season ... but the police usually come through the neighborhood with their sirens blaring to let me know when to evacuate ;p

    Now to the really important stuff: what kind of girl scout cookies do you want???:

    Lemon Chalet Cremes - vanilla cookies with lemon creme inside
    Trefoils - shortbread cookies
    Do-Si-Dos - Crisp and crunchy oatmeal cookies with creamy peanut butter filling.
    Samoas - Tender vanilla cookies, covered with caramel, rolled in toasted coconut, and striped with a rich, chocolaty coating.
    Tagalongs - Tasty cookies topped with creamy peanut butter and covered with a luscious chocolaty coating.Tagalongs contain peanuts.
    Thin Mints - thin wafer covered with a smooth chocolaty coating. Made with natural peppermint.
    NEW! Dulce de Leche - Inspired by the classic confections of Latin America, these sweet, indulgent cookies are rich with milk caramel chips and stripes

  7. mudpuppy,

    The media has always printed only that which they want the people to know and people today are so superficial. They don't want to know about the war or that men and women are giving their lives for their freedom. It's called denial, so of course what Oprah is doing and what Michelle Obama are wearing is important.

    As I told my oldest grandson (13) today. Life isn't always fair and we just have to suck it up and get on with it. Not you, per say, but the people back home who don't want to face reality.

    You're doing a great job. I continue to pray for you and all other deployed.


  8. The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 01/29/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

  9. Hey,

    A little off topic here, but I was wondering if you could drop me an email. I have something I'd like to discuss with you.

    David M
    Editor: The Thunder Run

  10. Hey Mud Puppy. We miss you. How are your deposits going in the bank? Millions? Cor and I made the license plate for you (not our idea)so we hope you like it. We wanted to write something else on it, but the commander gave us a thumbs down. He said too many other guys with you would have a heart attack. Hope all is well and look forward to seeing you soon.
    If you have personal email time, email us @
    Love ya, C-Girl and Mrs. R.