They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Oct 30, 2012

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch...

Am I getting bitter in my old age? Or, am I just seeing the world through a clearer lens?

I'm thinking...maybe hoping that its the latter of the two.

But a sure sign that you're getting older, maybe not bitter, but definitely older is when you start looking at kids and seeing their lives as easy, and their values as lacking, and their difficulties as laughable.

Bearing that in mind, it also strikes me as strange just how dependent we have become as a culture as a whole. We depend of so many different moving parts to conduct our daily lives that I'm not sure if we could hack it otherwise.

Now, as a generation, the one before me was one of unparalleled gluttony. Boomers are easily the most entitled of all generations. They don't really worry too much about the future because their future has already been secured and its been secured on the backs of today's and tomorrow's workers. For example, ME!

Just say the words "Reform Social Security" and you will won't be able to get elected to the local PTA board.

So here's the thing. Everyone knows on some level that nothing is free. Someone always has to pay for it. Regardless of what it is, somebody paid the bill. The Rothschild's do not work for free kids.

Social security is paid for by workers currently working. If you're drawing social security now all your money went to keep your parents quiet.

Roads, bridges, schools, cops, firemen, teachers, soldiers, VA benefits, FICA, and on and on it goes. All things we, as a nation, had to pay for.

So riddle me this, why is it that if you ask your average American sheep about what's wrong with the government, sooner or later in that conversation spending will come up. When it does, you are almost guaranteed to hear something along the lines of, "We have to cut spending."

Now, ask him/her where to cut spending.

Social Security? No way, I want that so I don't have to work forever.
Food Stamps/Welfare? Maybe, so long as the person doesn't know anyone on it, or is on it themselves.
Military? Not a chance, Americans love to kill people and break things.
Medicare/Medicaid? Sure, they'll get on board with that so long as you don't cut their entitlements.
Education? You just sound like a dick if you want to cut this.

And around and round you'll go. Sure there's a few things that we all can agree on. Politician salaries and pensions, sure fuck them guys. Government employee salaries and pensions, sure why not, until you realize that over 2 million mother fuckers work for the government and that's not counting the military. Cut all of that and all of a sudden you've got a lot more mouths in the bread lines.

Basically, what I'm saying is that Americans are, for lack of a better term, stupid. They want all this good shit the government does for them, but they don't want to pay for it, and when you finally beat it into their skulls that something has got to give or the whole thing is going tits up, then they pick the thing that is furthest from them to go after. Cut it all!!! They say. Just not MY STUFF!!!!

Any of you brilliant financial scholars understands that if you take in $10, you can only spend $10 or you can go into debt. In which case you can spend until you max out your available credit. Then you're done and you have to spend 40 years paying that shit off, or you could call Dave Ramsey and do it in about 45 minutes or so.

Now imagine you live in a land where all you have to do to get a higher credit limit is sign a piece of paper. Doesn't mean anything. You didn't change the amount you make or anything like that. You just magically increased you credit limit. Just because you said so. Then you could continue to buy whatever the hell you wanted until you run out of credit again, and then you sign another piece of paper that increases your borrowing power again. Once again, you didn't actually do anything, you just decided that you were going to borrow more, so you did.

Sounds like a great place to me.

That piece of paper is the debt ceiling. And someday its going to come crashing down on all of us.

Americans need to pull their head out of their collective asses. We've allowed two generations to write a whole bunch of checks that we're going to have to cash. Now sooner or later we're going to have to make a deposit. The longer we wait the bigger it gets.

Pretty soon it'll be bigger than all of us, it may already be. Nothing is free. Somebody is going to pay.

Get ready, the bill is in the mail.

Oct 27, 2012

Combat Skirts...

The Daily Beast did a piece on women in combat. You can read it HERE

It was the usual fare. The argument for women in combat normally follows the same general outline.

They integrated minorities and the sky didn't fall.
They integrated gays just about 20 minutes ago with the repeal of DADT.
Now its time to integrate women into combat.

The argument against women in combat usually goes like this.

Women will destroy unit cohesion.
Women will distract the men from the important work they're doing.
The men/women won't be able to control themselves sexually. (Sorry folks, but this is already happening. Combat or not. Anytime you put people in a situation like Afghanistan or Iraq is unavoidable there's going to be some serious fucking going on.)

Then some glowing voice of reason in the comments section of any piece on women in the military always brings up the fact that women are physically weaker than men. Then some skirt comes back with, "I passed the APFT at the male standard!!!"

Usual bullshit.

All of this derives from the military's ban on women in combat arms MOS's (military occupational specialties) Such as, infantry, armor, engineers (I think), Special forces, and field artillery. My apologies to any I missed, but I'm an MP so I truly couldn't give a shit less.

And here's where I kinda laugh at the whole thing. Now whether or not there's an "official" ban on women in combat, or a de jure ban on women in combat, the de facto state of combat is there are plenty of women in there.

I've got a combat action badge, and you can say anything you want, we were engaged by and we engaged the enemy, and there was a skirt driving for me, and there was a skirt behind the 50 cal in the truck in front of me, and there was a skirt team leader in the truck behind me. This happened numerous times during the course of a 10 month hitch in country. I'm sure there's hundreds of thousands of stories and military records that would tell you the same.

So as much as people want to bitch, whine and complain about the ban. I want the military to get rid of it for two reasons.

  1. Your ban is meaningless, women are already in combat.
  2. I am sick of fucking hearing about it.
The way I figure it, this debate is pointless when one side has already won out. Whether anyone likes it or not the nature of combat in this day and age has changed to the point where its literally impossible to keep women out of combat. The discussion is pointless. Your argument is invalid.

Now that we've got that settled, somebody can figure out the PT standards...

(Just so you know, the title is purposely inflammatory.)

Oct 25, 2012

Successful Politicians...

If you're a successful politician, you know you don't succeed by figuring out what's really going on in the world and trying to explain it to people. You need to find out what people want to hear and then tell it to them.

Words spoken by Bryan Caplan author of The Myth of the Rational Voter: Why Democracies Choose Bad Policies in his inteview on the Freakonomics podcast.

You can read the transcript HERE.

Now basically, what he's saying is that politicians live and function, and get their jobs by glad handing all of us and basically shoveling so much shit that you can barely see the floor anymore.

He gives a pretty startling example of how stupid we are as voters, collectively.

For the most part cutting spending is looked upon favorably by the electorate.

Until you start picking out things to cut. Cut medicare. Holy hot shit there'll be a riot. Cut social security. Lord have mercy, there'd be an uprising in the retirement home on that one. Cut the military. Sweet baby Jesus, the huns are coming, the huns are coming.

That's pretty much all politicians do. They give you generalitites, no specifics.

I will cut spending! Oh really, how you going to do that? What are you going to cut? What, specifically are you going to cut?

I will strengthen the military! Oh really, how you going to do that? What exactly are you going to do? Oh, and one last thing, how are you going to pay for it?

Imagine if you or I proposed things to our boss that way.

Employee: Hey boss, I am going to make this company hugely profitable, we are going to open up 20 new factories, and I'll restore this company to the height of its stock price.

Boss: Oh really, and how precisely do you plan to do that?

Employee: I am going to make this company hugely profitable, we are going to open up 20 new factories, and I'll restore this company to the height of its stock price.

Do you see how stupid that sounds?

Just so you know, that's what your beloved candidate (whichever one is yours) has been saying to you from the jump.

Now here's where the real bitch of this situation lies.


This is what we want, this is what we've asked for. As an electorate because of our own lack of interest, stupidity, apathy, laziness, or whatever else you want to call it, this is what we get.

If American's actually wanted good politicians, there'd be some, because we wouldn't allow this whale shit to make it into office. If we wanted good ones, we would demand that tough questions be answered with specific responses. If we wanted good ones, we would insist that politicians back up every word they say with facts, figures, plans, or something concrete.

Basically, what I'm telling you is Barack Obama & Mitt Romney are what we get for this election because that's what this country wants. One giant red douche vs. one giant blue douche.

It's our own fucking fault.

That being said, I am removing myself from the equation. Not voting this year. Probably not for quite a while and certainly not until there is someone in there worth voting for. Maybe if I'm lucky, the rest of you will continue to elect shittier and shittier people until a revolution finally comes. Apparently, its going to take quite a bit of doing before the vast majority of this country realizes that we're going straight to hell.

Ah, I can hear the self righteous indignation coming from some. How dare you not vote? Its your civic duty. Plus, if you don't vote you have no right to complain about politicians.

First of all, I dare, secondly, check the rest of my blog I've certainly done my civic duty, and your civic duty and his civic duty, so fuck that. Finally, just use some simple logic on the complaining part.

If you voted for a politician, or campaigned for one, or in any way contributed to the political process, then the people who currently hold office are...YOUR FUCKING FAULT.

Not mine, I didn't vote for them, I have nothing to do with this asshole being senator or mayor or president or whatever.

I didn't do a damn thing, you did. You voted, you have no right to complain.

I could be wrong, but until American's start demanding better people as leaders then we get what you vote for.

Good luck picking the lesser of two evils and thinking that's an actual choice.

Oct 24, 2012


I live in Illinois, and as such I know all about corrupt politicians. I'm pretty sure we're the only state where our governors make the license plates, but I digress.

So I go outside today and I pick up the newspaper off the driveway and open it up to the front page and start taking in a few headlines.

Now bear in mind, this is a suburban paper. Suburbs of Chicago, the Daily Herald. Covers Du Page and parts of Lake, and I believe a couple other counties. This isn't even the big city paper like the Sun-Times or the Tribune.

Here are the two headlines that drew my attention:

Sweet Pension Deal At Issue: Opponent Questions Why Du Page Clerk gave multiple raises to former board member.

How Many Millions Did We Pay Out?: 15 to state legislators by Topinka's count.

You can click on the headlines to read the articles if you like.

Now the first article is the one that royally stuck in my craw. Its basically the Du Page county clerk looking out for his boy. He gave him 40% raises over a 5 year period with the last raise coming just 6 months before his retirement so that it boosted his pension into the stratosphere.

The second one is easier to stomach just because I'm from Illinois and I'm used to this shit.

Its examining all the little perks that state lawmakers get while they are making laws. Which we all know is a bunch of bullshit, but its just what happens.

You've got welfare queens out there who aren't this bold in their bullshit.

At least welfare queens have to go to the state and apply for the benefits, and they can only take so much. These fucking politicians try to take all they can and call it earned! Politicians are the worst kind of freeloaders there are, the kind who take your money and pretend that they earned it. They bankrupt a state and attack employee pensions when mentioning nothing of their own sweet deals.

Which brings me to my next point.

When you are dealing with politicians I think there are two things that could clean up our political system quickly. Make it so you only get people who truly want to serve.

  1. Term limits. You only get two in any job. That's it and that's all. No Mayor Daley of Chicago bullshit where you're mayor for life. On top of which, there are no pensions for legislators. Nothing, you get paid for your time in office and when you leave you have to go back to making a living just like everyone else. I think there should be a 401(k) program for them, because it wouldn't be fair to have them serve 4 years in office and be 4 years behind the power curve on their own retirement. But no pension obligation that the people of the state have to bear for 100 years after they're gone. Government service should be just like the military, all your needs are met. Housing, medical, education, salary, and just like the military reserves your job is protected. If you were working for Joe's Widget factory and got elected to office. Joe would have to hold your job and all your pay and benefits until you got back. 
  2. Publicly financed campaigns. This one would be tricky because you would have to figure out how to choose who could run and what the prerequisites would be. No money in politics. From anyone or anything other than the taxpayer. If you don't like the idea of your tax dollars going to campaigns, think about what the system has produced when rich guys and corporations finance the campaigns. Each candidate gets X amount of dollars from the government to conduct his/her campaign and that's all they can use and they have to provide an in depth accounting of every dollar spent. Kinda like when soldiers come back from TDY and have to cough up all their hotel and meal receipts.
You do those two things and you remove all the motivation that these criminal cock suckers have to get into politics. You reduce the corporations to nothing in the grand political scheme of things and you allow good people, who aren't rich to compete on an even playing field with the 1%ers.

And you stop the most damaging and dangerous freeloaders of them all. The fucking politicians!

Oct 23, 2012

Don't Vote, So You Can Still Bitch...

So here’s a little question I’ve been kicking around in my head for a while now. Why is it that so many people are so willing to blindly accept certain things that for whatever reason they think are true, and regardless of how much evidence there is to the contrary they won’t give up that idea?

Case in point, how many fucktards do you know who can’t even deal with a presidential election, or more accurately can’t deal with having anyone around them who is voting for someone else without losing their friggen minds?

Now this is a subject near and dear to my heart because if there’s one thing that I love watching it’s the level of douchebaggery that goes with an election. Especially a presidential one.

You’ve got two rich guys who are the figureheads (not the bosses) of the parties that have completely polarized this country into a house divided against itself, and we all know how well those stand.

Barack Obama is worth 11.8 million bucks. (type Barack Obama net worth into Google to see where I got it from)

Mitt Romney is worth 250 million bucks.

Which means that 99% of the population has more in common with the homeless illegal Mexican immigrant sleeping on lower Wacker drive right now than they do with either of these cats.

Both solid 1%ers. Except, I’m pretty sure Romney is top 1% of the 1%. Either way, both ridiculously rich guys. You give me Barack Obama’s fortune and I’ll never work another day in my life, and neither will any member of my immediate and extended family. You give me Mitt Romney’s and I’ll just start retiring random people as I walk down the street.

These guys are currently locked in mortal combat over a miniscule percentage of undecided voters. Now while they (the candidates) play nice and try to sound accommodating and like they might be able to compromise on some things there is this constant noise in the background. That noise is the true believers on the left and the right. Lunatics the lot of them.

So you have basically three groups in this country. Blue guys, red guys, and undecided guys. The blue guys will vote for the blue guy no matter what, and same goes for the red. The undecided are the ones who will decide this election. They are the deciders. Thanks Mr. Bush.

Now to get the nomination, these two pricks had to pander to the red guys and the blue guys. Which means they had to fly far left and far right to appease the holders of the check books, and now they have to swing to the dead center in order to get the undecided to vote for them, anybody besides me see the hypocrisy evident in there?

Get something through your heads, nothing a politician says is worth the air he took in to say it. They are assholes by default. That being said, all of you fucktards who think that one or the other of these two is going to save the country let me tell you something. In the coming years when people start complaining and calling your guy the anti-Christ you’re going to wonder what happened. Let me save you the suspense. You’re a fucktard and you voted for a douchebag.

Voting is a right, and a responsibility, I can get on board with that. But you have to consider the future and you have to consider the arguments that will be made. So I’m going to recommend you do one of two things. 
  1. Don’t vote.
  2. Vote for someone who has absolutely no chance whatsoever of winning. So neither Obama nor Romney.

Now why would I tell you that?

So that someday when that stupid cliché comes up about “Well if you don’t vote you have no right to bitch about politicians” Or some such nonsense, you can come right back and say, Au contraire good sir.

You sir, voted.

You sir, are responsible for putting this or that douchebag in office.

I did not vote and therefore am not responsible for this or that douchebag being in office.

I had nothing to do with it, this is all your fault along with the other shitbags who bought in to the bullshit.

So, I say, YOU have no right to bitch. YOU did this. I’ll bitch all I want.

Little Girl, Please Stop Talking...

What is it with college students and their seemingly undying interest in fucking with the military?

Now, it seems a bit humorous to me in the first place that, by some estimates over 70% of the current population of young people in this country is not qualified to serve in the military and if you've ever seen your local community college, so long as you can sign the loan agreement you can go to college, but whatever it’s been my experience that people look for just about any reason to consider themselves superior to others.

Hell, I’m probably doing just that by writing this diatribe. Now what the hell am I talking about? I’m talking about this girl who wrote a piece for her college newspaper about how the military shouldn't be getting all the discounts it does.

You can read it here.

Now this shit is hysterically funny on several levels. First and foremost of which is her delightfully un-self-aware comments. Given the fact that she’s a student at a university and last time I checked student discounts are about as common as air. Anyone who has ever been to a large university, or a large city with universities in it, you know that there are student discounts for EVERYTHING.

I went to the website of the newspaper she wrote for, figured out what university it was; Colorado State, and then I typed in to Google “Colorado state university student discount” and came up with only 140,000,000 results. Sorry girl, I think you can find a 10% off movie ticket in there somewhere.

I was even surprised to find out that there is an entire PROGRAM at CSU for student discounts. Its kind of like a, you give us a discount, we give you cheap or free access to students spending mommy or daddy’s money.

Next level of funny, this dopey little girl thinks that giving military discounts creates a hierarchy of heroes in this country and puts us soldiers at the top because apparently we get discounts because we are more deserving that other heroes. (Cops, firefighters)

Once again, are you out of your fucking mind. Cops get everything cheap, if not free! Firefighters, well I don’t know any, but if its anything like it is on Rescue Me, they are more than compensated by copious amounts of random pussy the get a hold of. Plus, I’m sure they don’t have to pay for coffee. Not to mention they work a 1 on, two off schedule. What more could you want than to only work 4 months out of the year?

Regardless, what is it about college students that makes them so ungodly stupid, and at the same time so willing and able to share their opinions with the world?

She probably went into a store somewhere and some soldier bought something at half off that she wanted but had to pay full price for because all she had was her student I.D. So let me tell you something honey, this isn't creating a hierarchy of heroes.

If you ask me its payment for services rendered. 

Oct 20, 2012

My Turd Is Smells Better Than Your Turd...

That's the sentiment that I see over and over again daily as we slosh our way through this latest presidential tomfoolery. (that's a classic word)

You've got Obama and the Blue team on one side, and you've got Romney and the Red team on the other side. Which is the way its always been. At least in my lifetime.

Red vs. Blue. That's all we've got. 

Now, even I remember a time when things were a bit different than they are now. I remember a time when there could be two guys sitting at a table, discussing politics and these two guys could completely disagree on every damn thing there is.

Pro-gun/Pro gun control
Socialized medicine/Free-market

And on and on they could go. Now after they got done discussing all of that. They would politely agree to disagree and get on with their lives. In many cases, these two guys were friends, coworkers, even family members.

Nowadays, if you even express a political opinion, I'd make sure that I know exactly who is in the room and make sure they agree with you, and if there is disagreement in the room make sure you're bigger than the other guy.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. -F. Scott Fitzgerald

In todays day and age of tea parties, and anarchists, and far left nut jobs, and far right warmongers, and extremists of every ilk there is no room for a tempered opinion, nor is there any room for an intelligent argument where both parties attempt to see the view point of the other. 

It takes quite a bit of brain power to actually argue with someone. An actual argument requires facts, and logical thinking, and organization, and the ability to see a point of view other than your own. A measure of brain power that I'm sorry to say I don't think we as Americans have anymore. 

We don't argue. We talk louder until we're shouting. We don't discuss the pros and cons of an idea. We defame the creator or proponent of the idea. Americans have lost their ability to argue and compromise and have thus stagnated as a society. You have the far right doing its thing, and the far left doing its thing and the middle trying to stay out of all of this. And all the while, right is smashing into left over and over again and no one can get anything done.

The only people participating in our political process are the true believers. The lunatics. I am right, you are wrong, everything you say is evil, your candidate is the anti-Christ and you are the devil's servant. MY TURD SMELLS BETTER THAN YOURS!!!

Until this country realizes that the participants in our political process are the ones who are causing all the trouble, we're not going to be able to change things. Politicians have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo and they'll do it to our detriment. The true believers are few and far between. There aren't that many of them. The only difference between them and us is the volume of our voices. 

The vast majority of this country can see why we would need a strong military and access to health care for all citizens. A vast majority can understand that guns should not be taken from law abiding citizens and yet there are reasonable restrictions on that right. A vast majority believe that a woman should have a right to an abortion, but it shouldn't be used as a form of birth control.

The vast majority, however, isn't the ones who have been speaking...