These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Sep 17, 2020

Daily Stoic: What Am I Addicted To?

 Cigarettes, can't get away from that one.

Gambling, maybe. I do place bets almost daily, but they're for $5-10 per game. I make north of a 100 grand a year, I can afford it.

Porn. That's an iffy one because I've been fighting it lately. What's the criteria?

Addiction.com says...

1. Preoccupation to the point of obsession with sexual imagery. Porn addicts typically spend at least 11 hours per week searching for and looking at pornography. Sometimes they dedicate double or even triple that amount of time.

2. Loss of control over the use of pornography. Porn addicts often try to quit or limit their use of porn, but without success. They may stop for a day or two, often discarding their entire collection and stopping online subscriptions, only to quickly return to it.

3. Negative consequences directly related to the compulsive use of pornography. Porn addicts eventually experience many of the same adverse consequences that alcoholics, drug addicts, compulsive spenders, compulsive gamblers and other addicts deal with.

Using those I'm going to stick with a hard no. Ha, hard no. LOL.

But you know what I really think I'm addicted to? Planning.

Not actually doing anything, but planning. Daydreaming, thinking about doing, something. Whatever it might be.

I saw a little hunting cabin nearby me today that I could live in, and obviously hunt out of and there's a trout stream on the property, it juts up to state land and there's a lot going for it. All for the low, low price of $99,000. Which around here is pretty damn good. Now will I do anything about getting the place?

Truthfully, I couldn't say for certain, but I know which side I'd bet...

Yeah, simply running things around in my mind and not committing to anything. Thinking of this, and not doing it. Planning that, and not following through. That's my biggest and most problematic addiction.

Lovely, step one is always admitting that you have a problem.

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