I Think I'm Going To Puke...

This little fucking douche bag was in the same company as me in Afghanistan! I will never forgive him for this!



Some of what he said is true, but he takes it way too far. And last time I checked sledge hammers do kill flies!

Later,

I love you Mom...

If Only. Those are truly the saddest words in the world...

I know that I just asked for help with writer's block in my last post, but I think I may have come up with something.

Does anyone remember how I talked about all the volume on life being turned down by my experiences in Afghanistan?

Well that's a true statement. Probably just a bit too true.

I've been saying, "If Only" to myself a lot lately. And that truly sucks.

Regret has become a fairly common state of mind for me lately. And I'd have to say that in my experience thus far. Regret is probably the worst emotion that I've ever felt.

I've had a lot of time to reflect on my life. Which is thinking, and we all know that thinking is not a good thing for me. I've gone as far back as high school and second guessed myself.

If only...

I did this.
I didn't do that.
I asked her out.
I didn't ask her out.
I went here.
I went there.
I didn't go here.
I didn't go there.
I tried a little harder.
I tried a lot harder.
I worked a little more.

I wonder where my life would have led if I didn't have the personality traits that I've got.

If only...

I wasn't so bull headed.
I wasn't so easily angered.
I was more patient.
I was more dedicated.
I was more diligent.
I was more loving.
I was less demanding.

And on and on it goes...

Bad things, brain is doing bad things.

Now the volume on all of that has been turned down. Which I'm thinking might be a horrible thing for me.

You see, I've created quite a comfortable little life for myself. I've got a great job. Money wise, I make more than most people and I've got federal benefits which most people would give their left nut for. I've got a nice place, with nice furniture, a nice car, nice clothes, nice this and nice that. I have no problems paying my bills. I have no real issues at all. Everything is going wonderfully.

And I've gotten quite used to it. And quite comfortable. And its quietly and comfortably sucking the life out of me!

I read a story tonight that brought all this on, so I guess I should share it with you. But we'll give you the condensed version.

This guy Cortes went to Mexico a long time ago to conquer the land and loot all the gold.

He only took 500 guys with him.

His guys grew discontented with him because they were afraid of the Aztecs that were running Mexico at the time and numbered about half a million.

They mutinied and tried to kill him.

He talked them out of it.

He realized that his men were only thinking of riches and since they couldn't really easily get them in Mexico because of the Aztecs they started thinking of home and their wives and families.

They were distracted, and only thinking of everything but the task at hand. Which was subduing Mexico.

So he had to figure out a way to make them focused and get them on board with what he wanted to do.

So he burned, or ran aground all his ships.

There was no escape for any of them.

They had no choice but to fight ferociously and conquer Mexico, which they did. Two years later.

Okay, so what does that say to me? Cortes put his men at death's door. He offered them no escape, no way of backing down. They had only one choice, fight! Live your life, and live it right now. Live it here, and live it now. Because tomorrow you are going to run into an Aztec who may or may not turn your hide into a hat!

I have no ships to run aground.

I have no Aztecs to conquer.

Now I just have to figure out how to make them up in my head.

Now I'm thinking, If only I were born in Cortes' day.

Ah, maybe I'm nuts. But the principle is there. I don't like the way that life feels anymore. I don't like the lack of urgency. I despise the comfort of it all. I wish that I had a Hun to slay. I wish that I had a battle to fight. I wish that I knew how to deal with that. But so far I've got nothing.

If only...I had some good advice.

Anyway,

Later,

I love you Mom...

HELP...

Me with writer's block.

I've been wrestling with what I should write about now that I'm not in Afghanistan anymore. I mean that place was an endless well of inspiration for hilarious posts. But now I'm back to normal life and I am running short of shit to write about...

What do you want to hear about?

Later,

I love you Mom...

Afghanistan death toll rises -- chicagotribune.com

Afghanistan death toll rises -- chicagotribune.com

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The War Of Misplaced Priorities...

That's very well how Afghanistan might be remembered. The jury is still out on that one.

I actually heard a little snippet on the news the other day saying that somebody estimated that there are only about 100 Taliban/al Qaeda fighters in Afghanistan.

Then I read this article on MSNBC.com

Hard Line Pakistani Schools Lure Foreigners

Okay, so I'm sure all of you remember me telling you over and over again about the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan. It sucked.

Why did it suck? Well besides being in Afghanistan, it was the place where the bad guys came from to cause all the fun.

Its been said, and given the fact that I watched it happen, that the Afghan/Pak border is pretty porous.

That's an understatement. The bad guys roll over the border, plant a few IED's, throw some lead at an unsuspecting patrol or two, stop off for a goat stew dinner, say their prayers and are back, safely in Pakistan before it gets dark!

Now we all know that there have been a few news stories here and there about American incursions over the Pakistani border. And I'm not naive enough to think that certain units are not operating on the other side of that border.

However, nothing large scale is going on over there. For us.

For them, Pakistan is huge. Pakistan is where they launch their fun little outings from. Pakistan is where they recruit, train, educate, equip and deploy their minions from.

So basically, if you want to look at it from a very cynical point of view. So far the best that the Afghan war has been able to do is move the terrorists base of operations from one country to the next.

They're still there. Still just as big a pain in the ass as ever and for whatever reason we aren't going to get them.

I've been arguing for the securing of the Afghan/Pakistan border being the most important priority any military/political effort in Afghanistan can have. Anyone who thinks otherwise, quite frankly, is either stupid or isn't looking at the facts.

You can't fix your flooded basement until you stop the water from coming in. Get it!

Now another war in Pakistan is obviously out of the question. Without a major event or shift in public opinion that'll just never fly. Nor would I want it to.

But the border has got to be shut down. The border needs to be secured. Simple. Not at all easy, but simple.

I'm starting to wonder what kind of enemy we are fighting when entire schools are dedicated to finding, educating, training, and radicalizing students and then passing them on al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations.

Its like minor league baseball over there. Learn here with us for a few years and then we'll send you on to the big league. Kind of creepy to think about. They actually take children, and completely brain wash them into radical Islamist nut jobs.

A fundamental shift in thinking is in order here. The most important real estate in Afghanistan is the 5 miles to the west of that border. The lion's share of American forces should be there if you ask me. (No one ever does.) I mean at one time we had 160,000 troops in Iraq. You're telling me that we can't get enough guys over there to secure that border.

I've beaten this horse for a while, and I am going to continue to beat it because it isn't dead yet.

How do you expect to build a viable police and military force there when you have Taliban coming across the border to corrupt the process?

How do you expect to get any infrastructure projects finished when the Taliban can slip over the border and blow it up nightly?

How do you expect to get anything done when the people that are working against you can come right on over and fuck up the works whenever they're feeling froggy?

Prevention is the best medicine, or so I've been told. Shut that border down and I'd go so far as to say that greater than 50% of the bullshit that goes on over there would come to a screeching halt. Prevent them from coming over and fucking things up, and then maybe some work could actually get done.

Once again, it won't happen but I can dream can't I?

Later,

I love you Mom...

The Rise And Fall Of A Military Blogger

Army Times article about "A Soldiers Perspective."

And people wonder why I was worried about getting into trouble...

One Drag Queen+House Music=My Take On People Today...

Alright, so I've told you in the past that I think that the vast majority of people are not worth the air and food it takes to keep them alive. Or maybe I haven't but that's it, that's the way I feel about a lot of people. Probably at least 90% of the human population today. It can go as high as 99.99% depending on when you catch said people.

First of all there's the drag queen. The six foot blonde Mexican that lives next door to me. Its got the whole package, skin tight dress, long blonde hair, nice rack, and a penis...

Then there's the house music (which I didn't know people even listened to anymore). Could've sworn that shit was outlawed along with Kid N' Play in 1996. But apparently this stuff still exists, and drag queens love it. And they like to play it, at insane decibel levels, in the apartment next to mine, until the wee hours of the morning.

So I went over there at 1:30 a.m. I was pissed, I wanted to sleep. I beat on the door like a cop. I assume they looked out and saw that I wasn't a cop and decided not to answer the door. I know for a fact there is no way they didn't hear me at the door, because I damn near unhinged the thing beating on it. I mean I started out just knocking, but between the music and my anger level I couldn't control myself all that long.

Woe is me, no answer. What to do? I know, call the cops...they fix things.

Called the cops, they came, talked to the drag queen, told it to tone the party down. They left, walking right past my door, almost falling over their own feet laughing about the appearance of my neighbor.

It toned it down, for about as long as it took for the parking lot to become bacon free.

Then it went right back up. And the aforementioned series of events was repeated.

With no result, until they finally decided to pack it up at 4:30 a.m. Normally, I don't really care about stuff like this. I'd usually be pretty pissed that I couldn't go to the party. However, tonight I'm tired.

But no consideration. For me, for the other people in the building, the cops, or anyone but themselves. Not an ounce of common courtesy in them. Or anyone else for that matter it seems.

How many times have you seen some punk dude, not hold the door open for an old lady?

How many times have you had to listen to a bunch of teenage girls talking on their cell phones right in the middle of a store at maximum volume?

How many times have you seen someone rush to get to the front of the line at the store and damn near knock everyone else over?

When was the last time someone offered to help you into the house with all your shit from the grocery store?

When was the last time some kid came over and shoveled an old couple's driveway after the first snow of the year? (I didn't volunteer but the mom always made me do this. I ended up shoveling 2 driveways and a block's worth of sidewalk because of her!)

And on and on and on...

I almost lost it once and became a felon when my mother walked into a department store to buy a birthday present for my cousin. My mom's a big lady, no way around it. I love her to death but she's no light weight. And my cousin, at the time anyway, was a 110 pound waif. Not to mention my mom was like 50 at the time and my cousin was maybe 26 or 27. So it was one of those fashionable stores that young chicks like.

So anyway, mom and I walk in. Girl walks right up to my mom and says, "Ma'am, we don't have anything here that would fit you!"

Completely flabbergasted. (Yep, I know that word, of course I'm not quite sure I used it right) my mom and I turned around and left and she had to spend the next 10 or so minutes convincing me not to kick the little bitch's ass. I do believe there are exceptions to the hitting a woman rule. Like when they deserve it!

So where am I going with this? What happened to common courtesy? Why is it that I am still terrified that my mother will jump out from behind a corner and belt me one if I didn't open the door for a woman, regardless of age, to include toddlers.

Please and thank you. As long as they aren't family, its a requirement.

Yes Ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir. The army beat that one into my skull.

Helping old ladies...that one just comes natural, if I do say so myself.

Knowing that the things I do affect others, and knocking it the fuck off when it affects them negatively. Dear old mom beat that one into me...with a belt.

Without sounding like I am tooting my own horn. I was taught the right way to do things. Apparently, teaching the right way of doing things isn't a real high priority anymore.

However, I do have a solution. (The following is a joke, but it just might work)

Someone once said, "An armed society is a polite society."

Require handguns to be owned and carried by every American citizen old enough to drive.

Make breaches of etiquette punishable.

By the person who was offended.

By allowing them to whip out their weapon and put a bullet in your ass.

You name on kid who wouldn't hold the door for granny if he feared her taking aim at him from behind her coke bottle glasses, with her shaky hands and putting a round right in his ass!

I'm telling you, you can't tell me you wouldn't love the idea of being able to shoot someone dead in the ass for pushing you out of the way on their way to a doorbuster deal on black Friday.

Well, it'll never happen but I can dream, can't I?

But its worth some thought, it could be fun. But until we get there, teach your and everyone else's kids some manners will ya?

Later,

I love you Mom...