Whether or not my maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
-Winston Churchill.
Alright Winston Churchill is now about my top rate, most favorite quote master of them all. But a close second is Chuck Palahniuk, author of Choke, Lullaby, Survivor, and Fight Club just to name a few.
He said the following...
"All God does is watch us, and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever get boring."
I like that idea. Why do I like it? Pretty simply put, I hate the idea of a boring life. However, after the last few years of my life I am beginning to wonder first of all what that means, and secondly is a non-boring life even a possibility in this society/culture we've created here in America today.
Just look at what we shoot for, or aspire to. Everyone wants to grow up, get a good education, find a good job, work at it for 30 or 40 years and comfortably retire after we've raised our 2.5 kids, gone through our series of dogs every decade or so.
Nowadays with the economy in the shitter and good, stable jobs not all that easy to come by you can see Americans in their boring way looking straight to their old Uncle Sam for help. Extend my unemployment, craft hugely expensive legislation to create a job for me, pass another health care reform so that I don't have to do anything for myself.
Its all so terribly boring.
Gone are the days when things were left to be discovered, to be conquered, to be done. Even our jobs are becoming the most mind numbing/boring things that could possibly be imagined. We've gone from an economy where things were manufactured or produced, to an economy based on service jobs. I would think (of course I don't know, because by the time I reached working age manufacturing was almost dead) that taking raw materials and then applying whatever process and turning them into something useful would be a pretty good way to spend a day. Making something.
Whereas now, there are more waiters than auto workers.
Life should have rights of passage. Mine have been simple, basic training, college, marriage, divorce, combat, and the stunning realization that unless I do something about it the rest of my life (with little deviation) will be the same day in and day out for the next 30 years. Pretty boring if you ask me.
And that boredom is a situation I shall have to remedy. But how?
I think about that quote from Mr. Palahniuk all the time. What if its not God that kills us when we get bored? What if its our spirit that dies when you take away the goals? Or the rites of passage? Or maybe God does just zap us when he tires of watching us.
I don't know. But I wonder if other soldiers/sailors/airmen/marines have the same issue with home as I do. Is this or is this not some of the most God awful boring shit you have ever had to deal with after spending your time over there?
I spoke a while back about how the volume had been turned down on life by the war. Well all I can wish for now is that I can find something...anything that could turn the volume back up.
Grip on reality slipping...
Later,
I love you Mom...
Mar 26, 2010
Mar 5, 2010
Netflix, Oh How I Hate Thee...
I can't think of one soldier that I know who wouldn't want to be Sgt. Will James. They might say different, but everyone of us, deep down would love to walk right into the jaws of an IED and disarm it. Every one of us would love to point a 9mm directly at a Haji's head and get his ass to back up.
Or at least that is what I'm thinking after watching the first few minutes of the Hurt Locker. I was trying to avoid it. But somewhere along the line I let this movie slip into my Netflix queue and it showed up in my mailbox yesterday afternoon. Hence the title.
Why did I want to avoid it? Well what self respecting soldier likes watching war movies? Mental masturbation anyone?
No soldier (at least ones that have been over there) really watches those movies for any kind of entertainment. They watch them to find all the shit that the hollywood freaks did wrong, or they like to watch them with other people so they can talk about how horrible it was over there and what a badass they were, or they just watch them to see if all the hype is true and it really does take you back...
There it just happened..."Be smart, make a good decision."
Those were the words uttered by Sgt. Sanborn to the lowly Specialist Eldridge who had just seen an Iraqi with a video camera. For those of you who don't know the Hajis like to videotape the bombs going off, and the GI's dying and all the carnage and put it on youtube or Jihad.com or wherever the hell they put 'em. Maybe they send the tape along to Allah just to make sure he knows that he's gotta find 72 more virgins. I don't know.
I always like those kind of orders. They make sure that whoever gave them is pretty much in the clear if the person he gave them to screws up and splatters the gray matter of some "innocent" haji on the wall.
"Well sir, I told him to be smart and make a good decision, obviously he was neither."
"Going to war is a once in a lifetime experience (except nowadays, we get a whole bunch of deployments) it could be fun." Well that's an epic quote from the Army shrink who I can only assume is meant to embody every POG that is or has been in Iraq and/or Afghanistan since the beginning. I'm not even going to justify that quote with any kind of analysis other than...
As long as you are as sick and twisted as most of the soldiers I know, then he's absolutely right.
Random observation: The young kid, the specialist that is with the EOD team. When they are getting attacked by the sniper team and he is trying to clean the blood off the 50 cal rounds so they won't jam, he has a bottle of MRE tobasco sauce stuck into the molle hooks on his vest. I kept my cigarette lighter there. No big deal, just a matter of preference. Who knows, maybe the kid's not a smoker.
Oops, now the kid went and killed someone. Some haji was moving around in behind them and the kid saw him, told the Sgt about it, was told to "handle it" and he did. 10 or 12 rounds later there is one dead haji laying on the railroad tracks with a herd of goats standing around. Nice place for a haji to die.
But how often is it going to be that cut and dry? One bad guy, pointing a gun at you, you pointing it back, the two of you dance, and he loses. I wish it was that easy. If it was the wars would be over.
Now they just found the IED factory and the dead kid with his chest sewn up. Doesn't take much to figure this one out. Hajis slaughtered the kid because he was down with the Americans and they decided to turn his dead body into an IED. I'll tell you what those hajis are quite an inventive bunch when it comes to hiding those bang bangs.
Well, I spoke too soon. He pulled the bomb out of the kid and took his body out.
I truly hated this part. Remember that kid I told you about that we sent out to get some watermelon...
Then somebody got Eldridge shot. Or they might have shot him. "We didn't have to go out looking for trouble so you can get your adrenaline fix you fuck." That's what Eldridge said on the bird on his way out of Iraq.
"Every time we go out, we roll the dice, it's life or death." That's what Sanborn says to James after some Iraqi gets blown up. Pretty deep stuff there. Haven't heard anything like that before. Its only been said in one form or another about every single war since the beginning of time. Hell that could refer to getting out of bed in the morning.
Cereal. This one actually made me happy. I said a few times that Afghanistan felt like another planet. Which is true. But there are times still now to this day, that I feel like I'm on Mars.
Then he tells his wife about shit that's happening in Iraq. Basically saying to her that he can't really function at home. He needs to be out there where the action is. I can understand that, American civilian life is exceedingly boring. I think the famous Willie Sutton quote is accurate here (with some artistic license taken). Why do you keep going to Iraq? Because that's where the bombs are.
"The older you get the fewer things you really love. With me, I think its one." Those are the words that leave Sgt. James' mouth and meets his infant sons undiscerning ears.
And then he's back in Iraq for another tour.
Did I like the movie? Not so much. I would have to think that any bomb tech that put his crew and other soldiers in that much danger would've been relieved of duty and sent for psychoanalysis.
Change of heart, so long as you can watch the movie for entertainment its pretty damn good. Lots of explosions, lots of drama, some blood, some gore...all around a lot of fun.
The thing that bothers me about the whole movie is this...
I can't get around the fact that I would love to be Sgt. Will James.
Later,
I love you Mom...
Or at least that is what I'm thinking after watching the first few minutes of the Hurt Locker. I was trying to avoid it. But somewhere along the line I let this movie slip into my Netflix queue and it showed up in my mailbox yesterday afternoon. Hence the title.
Why did I want to avoid it? Well what self respecting soldier likes watching war movies? Mental masturbation anyone?
No soldier (at least ones that have been over there) really watches those movies for any kind of entertainment. They watch them to find all the shit that the hollywood freaks did wrong, or they like to watch them with other people so they can talk about how horrible it was over there and what a badass they were, or they just watch them to see if all the hype is true and it really does take you back...
There it just happened..."Be smart, make a good decision."
Those were the words uttered by Sgt. Sanborn to the lowly Specialist Eldridge who had just seen an Iraqi with a video camera. For those of you who don't know the Hajis like to videotape the bombs going off, and the GI's dying and all the carnage and put it on youtube or Jihad.com or wherever the hell they put 'em. Maybe they send the tape along to Allah just to make sure he knows that he's gotta find 72 more virgins. I don't know.
I always like those kind of orders. They make sure that whoever gave them is pretty much in the clear if the person he gave them to screws up and splatters the gray matter of some "innocent" haji on the wall.
"Well sir, I told him to be smart and make a good decision, obviously he was neither."
"Going to war is a once in a lifetime experience (except nowadays, we get a whole bunch of deployments) it could be fun." Well that's an epic quote from the Army shrink who I can only assume is meant to embody every POG that is or has been in Iraq and/or Afghanistan since the beginning. I'm not even going to justify that quote with any kind of analysis other than...
As long as you are as sick and twisted as most of the soldiers I know, then he's absolutely right.
Random observation: The young kid, the specialist that is with the EOD team. When they are getting attacked by the sniper team and he is trying to clean the blood off the 50 cal rounds so they won't jam, he has a bottle of MRE tobasco sauce stuck into the molle hooks on his vest. I kept my cigarette lighter there. No big deal, just a matter of preference. Who knows, maybe the kid's not a smoker.
Oops, now the kid went and killed someone. Some haji was moving around in behind them and the kid saw him, told the Sgt about it, was told to "handle it" and he did. 10 or 12 rounds later there is one dead haji laying on the railroad tracks with a herd of goats standing around. Nice place for a haji to die.
But how often is it going to be that cut and dry? One bad guy, pointing a gun at you, you pointing it back, the two of you dance, and he loses. I wish it was that easy. If it was the wars would be over.
Now they just found the IED factory and the dead kid with his chest sewn up. Doesn't take much to figure this one out. Hajis slaughtered the kid because he was down with the Americans and they decided to turn his dead body into an IED. I'll tell you what those hajis are quite an inventive bunch when it comes to hiding those bang bangs.
Well, I spoke too soon. He pulled the bomb out of the kid and took his body out.
I truly hated this part. Remember that kid I told you about that we sent out to get some watermelon...
Then somebody got Eldridge shot. Or they might have shot him. "We didn't have to go out looking for trouble so you can get your adrenaline fix you fuck." That's what Eldridge said on the bird on his way out of Iraq.
"Every time we go out, we roll the dice, it's life or death." That's what Sanborn says to James after some Iraqi gets blown up. Pretty deep stuff there. Haven't heard anything like that before. Its only been said in one form or another about every single war since the beginning of time. Hell that could refer to getting out of bed in the morning.
Cereal. This one actually made me happy. I said a few times that Afghanistan felt like another planet. Which is true. But there are times still now to this day, that I feel like I'm on Mars.
Then he tells his wife about shit that's happening in Iraq. Basically saying to her that he can't really function at home. He needs to be out there where the action is. I can understand that, American civilian life is exceedingly boring. I think the famous Willie Sutton quote is accurate here (with some artistic license taken). Why do you keep going to Iraq? Because that's where the bombs are.
"The older you get the fewer things you really love. With me, I think its one." Those are the words that leave Sgt. James' mouth and meets his infant sons undiscerning ears.
And then he's back in Iraq for another tour.
Did I like the movie? Not so much. I would have to think that any bomb tech that put his crew and other soldiers in that much danger would've been relieved of duty and sent for psychoanalysis.
Change of heart, so long as you can watch the movie for entertainment its pretty damn good. Lots of explosions, lots of drama, some blood, some gore...all around a lot of fun.
The thing that bothers me about the whole movie is this...
I can't get around the fact that I would love to be Sgt. Will James.
Later,
I love you Mom...
Feb 24, 2010
Admiyo, allow me to retort...
First of all...classical liberalism is the idea of limited government, free enterprise and all the ideas that form the core of what should be the conservative movement. Its simply another example of corrupting an idea to mean something completely different than what its intention was.
Liberalism, as an idea, may not be the enemy that I think it is. However, government is. They have continued to chip away at our liberties and our pocketbooks. George W. Bush made it a point to chip away at our liberties in the name of safety, and Barack Obama has made it his mission to chip away at our pocketbooks.
Everyone thinks that the bailouts were needed because of the "too big to fail" crock. A free market economy, allowed to function, with limited government intervention would have sorted through the wreckage and guided itself out of the recession. Meaning that the banks/airlines/or any other business that were weak and had made poor decisions would have been bankrupted, while the strong businesses that had made good decisions would have weathered the storm and absorbed the market share of the recently deceased competitors. All of which would not have cost taxpayers a dime.
And yes, the argument can be made that all those companies would have laid off so many workers and then there would have been catastrophic consequences. I would think that the other companies, to include upstarts into business, would have at least partially filled the void and created new jobs for those out of work. The other half of my argument is, when did Americans become so dependent on their government that they would actually think that it is the realm of the Federal government to provide you with a job?
I think you are correct in part, that a balance is needed. However, the swings back and forth are not what this country needs. A balance is one thing, a pendulum swing from one end to the other is something completely different. Spending any amount of time traveling this great land will reveal a glaring inconsistency in liberal thought. Most people want the government in their life as little as is humanly possible. Most people would like to have as little of their earnings as possible taken by Uncle Sam.
And finally, in regard to your last admonishment that I can either run for office or work on the campaign of someone I believe in. The latter half is true. I could work for those candidates I believe in, except there's one problem. I have a full time job. I donate to political campaigns, I keep up with politics, and I vote in every local, county, state and federal election that comes along. That's about the best I can do, given the fact that I have to support myself and ensure that I'm not living off the government tit.
Could I really run for office? I don't think my employer would be very happy about me taking a few months off to pursue another job. Nor do I think that the thousands of dollars required (on a local level) or the millions of dollars required (on the state or national levels) are falling from the sky. So let's be serious. The only people in this country are the wealthy, or political operatives that can get the party and its resources behind them. And since we are only getting that sort of person in office, the results are a government that is firmly detached from its constituents and beholden to whatever interest it is that got them elected.
As far as presidents go...I skewered every president that has served since I've been writing this. So far that's just GW and Mr. Obama. Both of whom, are huge disappointments. As presidents so often are, or in the case of my lifetime, always are.
Bush put this train on the track and Obama is shoveling coal into the fire as fast as he can.
When will someone out there realize that what's happening in this country is hilarious because it can all be traced to one thing. Government. Make no mistake, I don't wish an overthrow of the government. Not hardly. But anyone who has seen the government working for the past 8-10 years knows this. Anything that the G gets a hold of, they fuck up. Its as simple as that.
Define Insanity: doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.
American insanity: Looking to the government for solutions when the government cannot even manage to spend less than it takes in.
Balance that!
Liberalism, as an idea, may not be the enemy that I think it is. However, government is. They have continued to chip away at our liberties and our pocketbooks. George W. Bush made it a point to chip away at our liberties in the name of safety, and Barack Obama has made it his mission to chip away at our pocketbooks.
Everyone thinks that the bailouts were needed because of the "too big to fail" crock. A free market economy, allowed to function, with limited government intervention would have sorted through the wreckage and guided itself out of the recession. Meaning that the banks/airlines/or any other business that were weak and had made poor decisions would have been bankrupted, while the strong businesses that had made good decisions would have weathered the storm and absorbed the market share of the recently deceased competitors. All of which would not have cost taxpayers a dime.
And yes, the argument can be made that all those companies would have laid off so many workers and then there would have been catastrophic consequences. I would think that the other companies, to include upstarts into business, would have at least partially filled the void and created new jobs for those out of work. The other half of my argument is, when did Americans become so dependent on their government that they would actually think that it is the realm of the Federal government to provide you with a job?
I think you are correct in part, that a balance is needed. However, the swings back and forth are not what this country needs. A balance is one thing, a pendulum swing from one end to the other is something completely different. Spending any amount of time traveling this great land will reveal a glaring inconsistency in liberal thought. Most people want the government in their life as little as is humanly possible. Most people would like to have as little of their earnings as possible taken by Uncle Sam.
And finally, in regard to your last admonishment that I can either run for office or work on the campaign of someone I believe in. The latter half is true. I could work for those candidates I believe in, except there's one problem. I have a full time job. I donate to political campaigns, I keep up with politics, and I vote in every local, county, state and federal election that comes along. That's about the best I can do, given the fact that I have to support myself and ensure that I'm not living off the government tit.
Could I really run for office? I don't think my employer would be very happy about me taking a few months off to pursue another job. Nor do I think that the thousands of dollars required (on a local level) or the millions of dollars required (on the state or national levels) are falling from the sky. So let's be serious. The only people in this country are the wealthy, or political operatives that can get the party and its resources behind them. And since we are only getting that sort of person in office, the results are a government that is firmly detached from its constituents and beholden to whatever interest it is that got them elected.
As far as presidents go...I skewered every president that has served since I've been writing this. So far that's just GW and Mr. Obama. Both of whom, are huge disappointments. As presidents so often are, or in the case of my lifetime, always are.
Bush put this train on the track and Obama is shoveling coal into the fire as fast as he can.
When will someone out there realize that what's happening in this country is hilarious because it can all be traced to one thing. Government. Make no mistake, I don't wish an overthrow of the government. Not hardly. But anyone who has seen the government working for the past 8-10 years knows this. Anything that the G gets a hold of, they fuck up. Its as simple as that.
Define Insanity: doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.
American insanity: Looking to the government for solutions when the government cannot even manage to spend less than it takes in.
Balance that!
Another Brick In The Wall...
I used that title because I wanted to convey what I think is a dangerous trend in this country that has been going on since 9-11-2001.
Chipping away at our liberties, one by one they fall.
Until they're all gone.
Its depressing, and reversible, but I don't really know if Americans have the heart, or even the attention span required to combat this shit storm that is being heaped upon us by our government.
Illinois is broke and is contemplating an income tax increase. Well that's wonderful. So how about the next time I run up my credit cards, or buy a house I can't afford I just force the state to pay for my irresponsibility. That would be nice. But only the government can do that.
Then the Supreme Court in its infinite wisdom is now weakening the Miranda law.
Our government is pretty much out of touch, out of control, and completely ludicrous.
But I'll leave you with a simple quote that, in my humble opinion, explains most if not all of it.
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
– Norman Mattoon Thomas (November 20, 1884 - December 19, 1968) was a leading American socialist, pacifist, and six-time presidential candidate for the Socialist Party of America.
Maybe its about time that American's, since we would never knowingly adopt socialism, reject liberalism.
Just a thought.
Later,
I love you Mom...
Chipping away at our liberties, one by one they fall.
Until they're all gone.
Its depressing, and reversible, but I don't really know if Americans have the heart, or even the attention span required to combat this shit storm that is being heaped upon us by our government.
Illinois is broke and is contemplating an income tax increase. Well that's wonderful. So how about the next time I run up my credit cards, or buy a house I can't afford I just force the state to pay for my irresponsibility. That would be nice. But only the government can do that.
Then the Supreme Court in its infinite wisdom is now weakening the Miranda law.
Our government is pretty much out of touch, out of control, and completely ludicrous.
But I'll leave you with a simple quote that, in my humble opinion, explains most if not all of it.
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
– Norman Mattoon Thomas (November 20, 1884 - December 19, 1968) was a leading American socialist, pacifist, and six-time presidential candidate for the Socialist Party of America.
Maybe its about time that American's, since we would never knowingly adopt socialism, reject liberalism.
Just a thought.
Later,
I love you Mom...
Can You Believe It...
Just a note to all my vet buddies out there.
THE MILITARY ACTUALLY PAID ME THE RETROACTIVE STOP LOSS PAYMENT.
Yes, the other day I received $2625 deposited into my checking account.
The only real complaint I have is that they didn't tell me what it was.
I just got paid, no explanation, no receipt, no notification.
Until about a week later...so I spent that week trying to figure out where this cash came from and if I would be defrauding the government by spending it.
So my advice to all of you would be. Get those old enlistment contracts out, get those DD214's ready and go to this website and get your F-ing money.
That's all for now, I'm still in shock.
Remember there is a deadline to apply!
Later,
I love you Mom...
THE MILITARY ACTUALLY PAID ME THE RETROACTIVE STOP LOSS PAYMENT.
Yes, the other day I received $2625 deposited into my checking account.
The only real complaint I have is that they didn't tell me what it was.
I just got paid, no explanation, no receipt, no notification.
Until about a week later...so I spent that week trying to figure out where this cash came from and if I would be defrauding the government by spending it.
So my advice to all of you would be. Get those old enlistment contracts out, get those DD214's ready and go to this website and get your F-ing money.
That's all for now, I'm still in shock.
Remember there is a deadline to apply!
Later,
I love you Mom...
Feb 23, 2010
My Two Step Plan For Fixing Politics...
Why am I writing this? Because politics is a favorite subject of mine. I've tried to avoid writing about it, sometimes successfully, but not always.
But I got these ideas the other night in a bar. (Where most really good ideas come from.) I don't know if you could call them ideas, just more strenuous restatements of things that have already been said. In any event, I present them now for your skewering.
First and foremost I think that America has created a political class that has one thing and one thing on its mind and that is reelection. Most senators and representatives in our state's legislatures and Washington are career politicians, hell there are even village presidents and mayors that are career politicians. Anyone remember King Daley the First who said when asked about presidential aspirations, "Why would I want to be president, I'm already mayor of Chicago. We've created an American aristocracy. Which if memory serves, the founding fathers didn't want.
These assholes care little about making things better, they don't really want any part of hard decisions because they are liable to get you booted out of office, and they have absolutely no interest whatsoever in anything other than protecting their own cushy jobs.
Solution: Term limits. Simple as that. Regardless of office, regardless of level of government. You get two terms at whatever it is, and that's it. Then you go back to work like the rest of us. Maybe that way we could get a couple guys in there that actually wanted to change some things and make a difference. Remove from these pricks the desire to get reelected to these amazingly cushy, do nothing jobs. They can be senators for 8 years and that's it. Reps for 4 years and that's it. No more Strom Thurmonds or Ted Kennedys who are in office longer than half their constituents have been alive.
Protect the people who run for office's regular jobs the same way they do the military. You go off to be a senator then your employer has to keep your job for you, or at least take you back at the same level when you come back.
Second Problem: F***KING money.
Dirty, ratty, nasty money. Wait, I'm a true blue, American born, Capitalist pig. And I'm damn proud of it. But even I have to admit there are some things that money just shouldn't be a part of. We could debate which ones till my ears fall off, but right now we don't have that kind of time. So let's just say that we all accept the premise that politicians in their present construct, have no choice but to be beholden to wealthy interests that finance their campaigns. There's really no way around it. He who has the gold makes the rules. Or in a politicians case, he who has the gold is the douche I have to suck up to and obey otherwise he keeps his gold. Or even worse gives it to someone else.
So how do we get money out of politics?
Solution: Publicly funded campaigns.
I know, I hate the sound of it too. But hear me out. Wait, this isn't a really new idea. So here's what it is...
A few bucks is added to everyone's tax bill. Say $10.00 Then some of that is put into a federal kitty, some into a state kitty, some into a county kitty, and finally some into a local kitty.
Now that's all the money that there is to campaign with. The campaigns are tightly controlled. No more bullshit ads that no one wants to see. The only thing you can do is put up websites that put your information out there. Every candidate is thoroughly investigated by a newly created government agency know as the CIA II. Or Candidate Investigative Agency, the II is just to distinguish them from the spies.
Candidates are no longer allowed to call your house. Matter of fact robocalls from any politician and/or interest group should be punishable by death.
Candidates will be required to attend and answer questions at open town hall meetings and their answers will be televised in their entirety, and transcripts will be available for all to read.
Debates will be held once a week for 8 weeks where a single issue will be debated. The debates will be proctored by military drill instructors. (To keep bullshitting to a minimum) In fact, any candidate that strays from the question in any manner or gives a fluff answer will be immediately and publicly chastised and reprimanded. Questions will be answered and those answers will only cover what was asked. No attacks or barbs can be directed at the other parties in the debate. YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THE ISSUES.
Aspiring politicians will have to present detailed plans, with step by step directions, and cost estimates (that are vetted by someone who at least took a freshman accounting class.) for what they would like to accomplish while in office. Obviously, they must be prepared to answer questions about this plan of theirs.
Aspiring politicians will not be allowed to accept anything of value from any person or entity because all their needs will be met by the government while they are campaigning. If they lose, they immediately return to their job. If they win, their job is held for them (just like military reservists.)
Also, I think the Presidency should become like a tournament. Something similar to the NCAA basketball tournament. It would definitely liven politics up, plus just think of the office pools it would generate!
Each state holds its own tournament to see who is going to be competing for the presidency from their state. Whoever wins that goes to the regional. Midwest, Northeast, South, Southwest, Northwest and West. They are divided into two divisions, 3 regions in each. The three winners of each region compete and one comes out of each division. Now we're down to two.
Those two run for president!
I don't care what you say, at least this way politics wouldn't be such a fucking drag. There would be some fun in there, there would be regional rivalries, there would be state rivalries, there would be some insanely lively debate, and I bet something like this just might get more that 20% of the eligible voters off their ass. If for no other reason than the fact that they've got money on this game!
Now I know there are probably a million holes in my argument here. Purposefully so. I want to hear what everyone thinks. Tell me I'm stupid, tell me I'm an asshole, tell me I'm wrong.
Just don't tell me the way things are is A-Okay...
I'll bet you 14 trillion dollars you're wrong!
Later,
I love you Mom...
But I got these ideas the other night in a bar. (Where most really good ideas come from.) I don't know if you could call them ideas, just more strenuous restatements of things that have already been said. In any event, I present them now for your skewering.
First and foremost I think that America has created a political class that has one thing and one thing on its mind and that is reelection. Most senators and representatives in our state's legislatures and Washington are career politicians, hell there are even village presidents and mayors that are career politicians. Anyone remember King Daley the First who said when asked about presidential aspirations, "Why would I want to be president, I'm already mayor of Chicago. We've created an American aristocracy. Which if memory serves, the founding fathers didn't want.
These assholes care little about making things better, they don't really want any part of hard decisions because they are liable to get you booted out of office, and they have absolutely no interest whatsoever in anything other than protecting their own cushy jobs.
Solution: Term limits. Simple as that. Regardless of office, regardless of level of government. You get two terms at whatever it is, and that's it. Then you go back to work like the rest of us. Maybe that way we could get a couple guys in there that actually wanted to change some things and make a difference. Remove from these pricks the desire to get reelected to these amazingly cushy, do nothing jobs. They can be senators for 8 years and that's it. Reps for 4 years and that's it. No more Strom Thurmonds or Ted Kennedys who are in office longer than half their constituents have been alive.
Protect the people who run for office's regular jobs the same way they do the military. You go off to be a senator then your employer has to keep your job for you, or at least take you back at the same level when you come back.
Second Problem: F***KING money.
Dirty, ratty, nasty money. Wait, I'm a true blue, American born, Capitalist pig. And I'm damn proud of it. But even I have to admit there are some things that money just shouldn't be a part of. We could debate which ones till my ears fall off, but right now we don't have that kind of time. So let's just say that we all accept the premise that politicians in their present construct, have no choice but to be beholden to wealthy interests that finance their campaigns. There's really no way around it. He who has the gold makes the rules. Or in a politicians case, he who has the gold is the douche I have to suck up to and obey otherwise he keeps his gold. Or even worse gives it to someone else.
So how do we get money out of politics?
Solution: Publicly funded campaigns.
I know, I hate the sound of it too. But hear me out. Wait, this isn't a really new idea. So here's what it is...
A few bucks is added to everyone's tax bill. Say $10.00 Then some of that is put into a federal kitty, some into a state kitty, some into a county kitty, and finally some into a local kitty.
Now that's all the money that there is to campaign with. The campaigns are tightly controlled. No more bullshit ads that no one wants to see. The only thing you can do is put up websites that put your information out there. Every candidate is thoroughly investigated by a newly created government agency know as the CIA II. Or Candidate Investigative Agency, the II is just to distinguish them from the spies.
Candidates are no longer allowed to call your house. Matter of fact robocalls from any politician and/or interest group should be punishable by death.
Candidates will be required to attend and answer questions at open town hall meetings and their answers will be televised in their entirety, and transcripts will be available for all to read.
Debates will be held once a week for 8 weeks where a single issue will be debated. The debates will be proctored by military drill instructors. (To keep bullshitting to a minimum) In fact, any candidate that strays from the question in any manner or gives a fluff answer will be immediately and publicly chastised and reprimanded. Questions will be answered and those answers will only cover what was asked. No attacks or barbs can be directed at the other parties in the debate. YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THE ISSUES.
Aspiring politicians will have to present detailed plans, with step by step directions, and cost estimates (that are vetted by someone who at least took a freshman accounting class.) for what they would like to accomplish while in office. Obviously, they must be prepared to answer questions about this plan of theirs.
Aspiring politicians will not be allowed to accept anything of value from any person or entity because all their needs will be met by the government while they are campaigning. If they lose, they immediately return to their job. If they win, their job is held for them (just like military reservists.)
Also, I think the Presidency should become like a tournament. Something similar to the NCAA basketball tournament. It would definitely liven politics up, plus just think of the office pools it would generate!
Each state holds its own tournament to see who is going to be competing for the presidency from their state. Whoever wins that goes to the regional. Midwest, Northeast, South, Southwest, Northwest and West. They are divided into two divisions, 3 regions in each. The three winners of each region compete and one comes out of each division. Now we're down to two.
Those two run for president!
I don't care what you say, at least this way politics wouldn't be such a fucking drag. There would be some fun in there, there would be regional rivalries, there would be state rivalries, there would be some insanely lively debate, and I bet something like this just might get more that 20% of the eligible voters off their ass. If for no other reason than the fact that they've got money on this game!
Now I know there are probably a million holes in my argument here. Purposefully so. I want to hear what everyone thinks. Tell me I'm stupid, tell me I'm an asshole, tell me I'm wrong.
Just don't tell me the way things are is A-Okay...
I'll bet you 14 trillion dollars you're wrong!
Later,
I love you Mom...
Feb 16, 2010
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