They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...


These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jun 28, 2009

Fucking NY Times...

Well, I had to go private all over again. I got told by my commander that blogs are not allowed and that some of the stuff I was writing could get me into a lot of trouble.

So here I am, 5 minutes after I went public again, going private because I am not going to deal with the trouble that this thing could cause.

What caused this? The fucking NY Times.

I got contacted by a reporter from the NY Times saying that he wanted to talk to me about military bloggers at war. I mean this guy was coming to Afghanistan in July to talk to myself and I assume a bunch of other bloggers to get our take on this little war we’ve got here.

I did what I was supposed to do. I notified my command and what happened?

Nothing. They wanted the information on how to get to my blog and who this reporter is and what he wanted and contact information and all that. Why? So that they could notify the Public Affairs office and inform the higher ups of what was going on.

Magic words. Higher ups. That’s enough right there for me to see the writing on the wall. Some asshole with too much rank and a fascist streak is going to hear that a reporter wants to talk to some lowly peon soldier like me and he is going to wonder why. Then he is going to go to my blog and dissect every word that I have ever written and find every single violation of military policy that I have ever perpetrated and he is going to proceed to nail me to the wall. Which is something like 220 violations that I know of for certain.

You see, every blog post is supposed to be submitted to the chain of command so that they can vet the writing and edit out any information that should not be released. Well, I have never once fucking done that. I shoot from the hip, and I write from the heart. And I’ll be damned if anyone is ever going to tell me what I can and cannot write. Unfortunately, that means that I only get to write for a very limited audience. But I can deal with that.

Fuck, if I was just a few years younger I would be totally game for all the trouble they could muster.

But I’m older now. I’ve got a real job. One that I would probably lose if I got into trouble here. I can’t let my anger get in the way of my judgement. So this thing is going to stay private until I can figure out when I can release everything. Actually, its going to stay private until I am home and this is all over.

Some day this is all going to come out. Every word I ever wrote will be laid bare for everyone to read. Just not now. I can’t help it, I’ve gotta watch my ass.

God, this sucks.

The very principles I fight for they take from me.

But then it got worse. Right after I talked to the commander. Which was about 20 minutes after the last rocket attack. I went to use the internet and it was fucked. It didn’t work. I tried and tried to get online so that I could take the blog back to being private. But I couldn’t get on the internet.

Well there’s only one reason that the higher ups would shut off the internet...

Fuck!

I’m done for now.

Later,

I love you Mom...

4 comments:

  1. Keep writing, I will keep reading...add my new email auctionchase@charter.net

    Stay safe Mudpuppy!

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  2. Please add me, too:

    bobbyjoyce@sbcglobal.net

    Thanks. And if you do get to talk to the NY Times, will you tell the reporter that you have been sensored? And that the freedom you are fighting for, you are not allowed to have yourself?

    Are the higher ups afraid because of the new administration? Or because of something already ingrained in them?

    Sorry to overanalyze, but your writing is sorta sanity therapy.

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  3. This truly sucks Mud Puppy but you gotta do what you gotta do. Stay as safe as you can in Afghanistan.

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  4. Dude, it's the ARMY. What do you expect? There is so much paranoia and politics 'up there' that I'm surprised we ever won a war. If it wasn't for the grunts, nothing would get done.

    ReplyDelete