They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...


These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Jun 11, 2009

Really? Rockets? I’m Trying To Fucking Sleep...

So I felt the need to share the following with you.

Try to imagine how you would react if you heard a rocket fly over your house. Try to imagine what you would do if you knew that there was someone actively trying to kill you at the moment.

Think about that for a few seconds...

Because this is what we do.

We are lying there on our cots.
We hear the tell tale, zipping sound of a rocket flying over our heads.
We look around, barely lifting our heads from our pillows.
Hoping that no one else heard it.
A few of us lock eyes, knowing that we heard it, but not wanting to admit it.
We take another look around just to make sure that no one is getting out of control.
We lay our heads back down on our pillows and wait for the boom!

Then we hear it!
The fucking loud speakers.
The wailing horns.
The cop sirens going off all over post indicating an attack.
The stupid recorded voice repeating over and over, “Incoming, proceed to the nearest bunker.”
“Well shit, now I have to get up. I was almost asleep.”

So we all get up.
Hey, LT do we have to put on our armor.
No, we’ll be in a bunker.
Okay, cool.
Do we need to carry our weapons?
Yeah, at least bring a pistol.
No problem, you got it boss.

Alright, now we have to go to this bunker.
What am I going to bring with me.
Do I take my helmet?
Do I take my weapons?
Do I take my armor?
Or do I take my Arizona Green Tea.
And my Maxim Hot 100 magazine!

Well, I take the tea and the magazine.
Walk leisurely across the street.
Calmly sit down in the bunker.
Light up a smoke.
And ogle Megan Fox for a half an hour.

Ladies, and Gents, this is a rocket attack in central Afghanistan.

Alright, I’m done now.

Later,

I love you Mom...

3 comments:

  1. Glad you're safe.
    I can't even begin to imagine.....
    How do we even begin to say, "Thank You"?
    Stay Strong!
    Pray Hard!
    ~AM

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  2. Hi Mud Puppy,
    It sounds like you have cool, calm, and collected down to a science. I know it is not at all funny, but, the irony with which you tell your story makes me chuckle. I bet you would love to dismantle everyone of those bleepin' loudspeakers. I often feel that way when I go to John's Hopkins hospital. When you enter the parking garage there is a ticket dispenser that "greets" you with this falsely cheerful, "Welcome To John's Hopkins." I want to put a serious beat down on that thing! I have taken to playing my son's Grand Theft Auto to deal with my anger and frustration issues.

    Hang tough MP. I pray for your continued safety and sanity. You are one tough cookie, but, with a gentle heart! You have been through so much and you have learned to cope with the vagaries of war and combat as best as humanly possible. I like your Invictus...you ARE the Captain of your Soul and I hope you can hang onto that...don't let anyone take that from you for any reason. You are ever in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. Well, my first initial thought was humor - taking your lead - hmmmm, bigger version of the old tornado drill, that's my way of dealing with the reality of what you and my son are going through - and then the comment by the others - how very nicely put - Ditto on those! Stay safe and give that ghost guy a hug for me. I miss him!

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