Can We Salvage This...

So she wanted to open the marriage. In her words, in all the ways that mattered, I was her guy. In home, hearth, and all the other shit, I'm a great father and yada yada yada, she wanted to stay together and be married to me. Except she wanted to have sex with other people, without me.

Funny part of that is, I'd have probably been a little more all about it if it had been with me and her and other people.

The only thing that says to me is she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Which always makes me laugh because how she could think I would go for something like that is beyond me. I mean really, let me take care of your kids, work my butt off to make sure you've got your nice upper middle class life and just sit back, relax and not worry about it while half of Toledo runs a train on my wife.

Yeah, that's not going to be a thing. Now the problem is this, I can't get the fact that this is what she wants out of my head. I've been trying to be more affectionate. I've been trying to be more attentive. Which to be fair, I think has been working. But here's the rub, now every time she isn't home when I expect her, my brain immediately flys to cheating. If she wants to go somewhere out of the blue, she's cheating. Basically, anything out of the ordinary, she's cheating.

Now she wants to go to some cross fit body transformation thing, and the first meeting or whatever is tomorrow. I suppose that's a good choice if you're going to cheat. If you come home red faced, sweaty and beat up you've got an excuse already.