Okay, so I'm here. I'm chilling in an Airbnb in Scranton, and I've been here long enough now that I'm praying for work. I know that sounds a little off my rocker, but there's only so much sitting a guy can do. And since my kids aren't here, there's nothing but time. You never realize just how much of your life those little turds dominate until all of a sudden you don't have them around anymore.
I start work Monday. a single question has come to dominate my mind. I plan on spending approximately 18 months to 2 years here without my family. I plan on going home regularly. Which will most likely be incredibly expensive but it is what it is.
Now the question I have is simply this, how am I going to be able to navigate these waters away from my family for the lovely reasons I have proffered in the past and manage to come out the other end without being bitter and resentful? I'm not sure I can. I hope that I can. But I'll be damned if I know how the hell I'm going to do it.
Which does nothing for me but lead to more questions. What if I like it without them around? What if they like it without me around? What if I can't deal with what she's doing? What happens if she can't deal with what I'm doing? What if she finds someone better? What If I find someone better?
Or were these questions the plan all along...
Fucked if I know. I'm doing my best right now to just get everything set up so I can have a life here. So far so good. Got an apartment. Got the utilities turned on. Got a storage unit for all the family shit that I have to deal with when my household goods are delivered. Move in to my new place August 1, 2019. Start work tomorrow.
So life keeps trucking along. That's a given. No matter what you do time just keeps on ticking ticking...into the future. Thank you Steve Miller. So I just got to put my head down and do the work. Get into shape. Get my mind right. Get my education right. Get my finances right. Do everything I need to do for me so that when the time comes the decision that she makes is of little consequence. I'm going to have everything working at 100%, firing on all gears. There's nothing else worth doing than that.
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